Hoo-Haas: Latest Looks and Trends…?
June 8, 2008
I’ll probably begin and end this post in a nervous kind of state.
Not that what I’m about to discuss is such a nerve-wracking topic…I’m just one of those folks who approaches certain topics with a bit of trepidation (haven’t you noticed???).
…This time it started at the local gym. Before I continue, I DO NOT hang out at the gym, local or otherwise. In fact the only place where cardio happens is the basement…yes, the quiet, private, “no one to judge me/no one hotter than me” basement. In this case though, a friend had offered me a “visitor’s pass” to her sweaty gym, so off I went..
…I drove to the gym, went inside, got on the eliptical, and broke a sweat. I’d hardly call that “blog-post-worthy”, but when I entered the women’s locker-room, that’s when things got juicy…
…There I stood, in the middle of the women’s “group shower”, lathering it up in my self-conscious way (they had individual shower-heads of course, but as long as we’re standing in front of one another nude, I call it “group time”). As I tried my best to look “naked awesome”, I couldn’t help but notice my surroundings.
And by surroundings I mean…exposed “hoo-haas”.
At this important juncture, let me confirm (as appropriately as possible) that I am a fan of men, in all their “shlongy goodness”. That being said, I was obviously doing the “I’m looking at your naughty bits when you’re not looking, and strategically looking away when you catch my eye”–thing…whether or not that makes me a confused heterosexual, I was doing it.
I wasn’t having a look for the purposes of excitement, but I was staring (and continuing to stare) for the reason of curiosity.
I found myself feeling not only curious but puzzled, by the wide array of hoo-haa “looks and styles”.
What I mean is *ahem*, the varying extents to which “landscaping” had occured.
It was rather intriguing, and it got me thinking…what’s the way to go, when it comes to the look “down under”?
Before my day at the gym, I hadn’t even thought that it was up for discussion; I mean girls are encouraged to wax it off from every other inch of skin…so why not there? In fact my default logic had always been the arm-pit defense: “when was the the last time you shaved only half your arm-pit?”
But then I thought: “Wait a minute…what if it’s not that simple?”
Like remember in the 60’s when it was cool to “hippie it up” and let it all grow, arm-pit hair included?…What if hoo-haa trends change with the decades too?
To add to the complexity of the issue, it’s easy to end up lost if you haven’t had a boyfriend for eons (who me?). In other words, this is one area of the body where the b/f will certainly clear things up, if you’re wondering “stay” or “go”.
But without the boyfriend-test, what’s a chick to do? I mean it’s not like they have any fashion shows which model the latest hoo-haa trends. It’s all so very “hush-hush”, and yet we’re all supposed to know.
Well I for one don’t know, and if I ask my mom, she’ll simply tell me to make the landscape as treacherous as possible, in her never-ending quest to keep me untouched (ya mom, I think it’s time to give up now…).
So if I don’t have a clue what to do “down there” in 2008…who does?
A little help?
Cootch grooming is an absolute essential. I was actually having this same conversation with a tramp on the subway last weekend.
Its amazing how when I used to swipe Playboys from my grandfather’s house in the 80’s, even though girls were considerably more “made up”, they were left fairly unkept.
I’m guessing it wasnt until the early ninties (or at least the time when I started watching porn on a regular basis) did I notice that most “startlets” came clean, most with a strip, some bald.
Me personally? (for what it’s worth) prefers a thing strip no wider than 1″ (or 2.2 cm) across, buzzed down almost to the skin. The rest, including around and under must be cleanly waxed as must the, well, ass crack. So basically a brazillian with a landing strip.
Bald? I dunno, a vag isnt the most pleasant thing to look at under most circumstances, so there needs to be a little cover.
Personally, I like a girl to mix it up on me. Sometimes you need to go clean shaven, sometimes you should throw in a landing strip, sometimes I like to see the “hitler”, but never, ever, ever do I want to see the thing fully grown chewbacca style.
Really, as long as it’s shaved up on the sides, I don’t care so much what is going on the top. But…variety is nice.
Well, I know most dudes like the whole baldness in your hoo-has, but, I guess it should be the girl’s choice: comfort and aesthetics (did I spell it right?) could be the pivotal aspects to consider. Me, as a dude, never had an issue with spitting up pub hair (I know, TMI, but since we’re talking ’bout hoo-has, I might as well share, right)and comments such as Andy´s: “a vag isnt the most pleasant thing to look at under most circumstances” will never cross my mind.
May your ““shlongy goodness appreciation” days keep to continue, along with eventual peeping on other girl`s bushes
*shudders* The last time I mowed the entire lawn I felt like a little girl and it was creepy. My boyfriend at the time really liked it but it gave me that “OMG is he secretly a pedophile????” feeling. Being of the bisexual area of the sexuality spectrum I am of a mixed opinion on landscaping. I don’t mind if the women I’m with do it but they can’t expect me to revisit my prepubescent days. And as for the men in my life, unless they have some sort of allergic reaction to pubic hair I’m not shaving it for anyone.
Honestly, I feel that a little hair down there is necessary…as long as it’s kept under control. However, if your (and I don’t mean you personally) downstairs looks like an overgrown jungle, please, please, please do something about it.
On a related note, why is it that men feel they have the ability to dictate what a woman’s vagina should look like? I don’t tell men that their penis has to be this long to ride the ride so they shouldn’t feel they’re free to give me styling tips.
Landing strip. Nuff said.
You seem to be a ‘numbers gal’ and the following stats represent my personal preferences in various related categories AT THE MOMENT.*
Jungles (-50)
Landing Strip (+4)
V-Shape/Other “Cute” Designs (+4)
Trimmed/Groomed (+3)
Bald (+1)
Additional Consideration & Bonuses:
Sexy Panties/Thong (+9)
Smooth Flat Stomach (+10)
Long (shaven) “Sporty” Legs (+10)
Long (unshaven aka ‘prickly’) “Sporty” Legs (-5)
Regular (unshaven aka ‘prickly’) Legs (-10)
Beastly Hairy Jungle Legs of Any Kind (-50)
Nice Butt (+8)
Cute Feet (+3)
Sexy Shoes (+6)
This leaves a girl with a possible total score of +50 on top of her previously assigned base score(based on personality & interests), which are assigned in increments of 10. (100 being the highest before additional “personality & interest” bonuses)
So my “perfect girl” would achieve a minimum rating of 144. Plausible? Probably not…
“Dateable” scores begin in the 80s.
Its nice to assign a number to my shallowness.
*stats subject to change w/out any notice, and probably will based upon blood alcohol level at the time.
A landing strip is the best way to go. That way, you can keep it clean and neat easy enough, don’t have to worry about some fur escaping during bathing suit season, and you won’t look like you have been expecting sex when you know, you finally have it (that was not an insult but in case your mom is reading – LOL), because it is a common enough muff-do so it won’t look like you just went and deforested just for the occasion.
I wait a week for a post from Miss Romi, and then she hits us with a topic I am unquestionably unqualified to respond to.
Hey look, I’m 43 and bald. Sweetheart, do whatever you want. Just keep it shampooed and smelling sweet, and I wouldn’t care…
Above “the slit” do whatever you want. Along “the slit” I prefer clean shaven.
In no way and at no time would this affect my opinion of a woman. If we’re intimate enough that I get to see you without your skivvies, I already like you FAR beyond anything your intimate grooming routine could possibly change.
But I do second Nigel, shampooed and smelling sweet are basically the only real “concerns”.
Be at peace with your hoo-haa.
If you compare your hoo-haa to that of others, you will always feel vain or bitter, because there will always be hoo-haas with better or worse cropping that your own.
Nobody wants to find a hair in something they are eating.
Then again, sometimes you’re just there to play and not to eat. When in it for the adventure, nothing wrong with a little jungle action. Variety is the spice of life, and it’s the spice of the hoo-haa too. 
The only general consensus seems to be fresh and clean. You can’t go wrong with fresh and clean. 
“and comments such as Andy´s: “a vag isnt the most pleasant thing to look at under most circumstances” will never cross my mind.”
Right Duffboy, because everyone loves staring at a hairy pastrami sandwich.
Dead Charming sounds, well, dead charming to me, thumbs up to you!
Rom, just do what feels good, and if there’s no action right now, just let it grow honey. I’m all for the landing strip look myself – can’t have nothing – it looks too childlike and that’s just wrong.
Go the fuzz for now!
I agree with Dead Charming, by the time I get to that point, I’m highly unlikely to be nitpicking.
However, if you’re concerned about it, I suggest a close trim as a baseline. That’s highly unlikely to turn anyone off in either direction.
Do what you want Romi, but I’ll tell you this once you wax it you’ll be addicted to the pain. NO, just kidding, even though it really does hurt. Once you’ve waxed it’s really hard to go back. On another note, I think men would be a lot kinder with their expectations of style and ease of use if they had to have their balls waxed.
Wow Romi. This is obviously a topic that’s generated lots of passion.
I prefer to have my pubic hairs threaded. I tried it with my eyebrows once, and it’s just wonderful. The needle goes in and then all the little spider legs come falling out. It only takes about an hour, and you canl isten to Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone” on repeat at my salon. Think about it.
I think pubic hair on both sides of the fence (mail and female) should be illegal. But that’s me.
All these porn-addled dudes that demand that women rip out their pubic hair are really depressing. Up until internet porn made its inroads into every self-entitled asshole’s basement, women would have thought you were crazy to demand something like that. Now women bow down meekly, “Oh, yes sir, you porn-obsessed Adonis, I will happily suffer indignity and genuine pain and risk of infection so that you can look at me and think of porn instead of the real person in front of you.”
You go girl! I am sure my son will not mind no matter how you style your goods. (and I am NOT going to ask him)
Personally if nobody is going to be around there it’s such a pain in the ass that I just forget about it winter-leg style. Also known as “The Buckwheat” if you seriously prefer labels. But at the same time, having a little strawberry shaped patch also screams “whoooore!” I would say that as long as you can walk around in a bikini bottom without the poon framing whisps, all should be good. Personally, I’m a fan of the landing strip. Nice and neat, but still with an indication that puberty has in fact set on and the interested party is not a pedophile.
oh BFF!!
What an interesting topic for discussion. You know, i was never a fan of the landing strip, as i just can’t shave a smooth line. Being a natural blonde, with the red hair dye, i often get asked if the carpet matches the curtains. My response?
“i have hard wood floors” LOL
shaved is the way to be…for me.
As a pilot, the landing strip always made sense to me.
What lolfeminist and greenmetropolis said! Like the grass, hair should be allowed to grow where it wants to. The ill porno-wind of recent decades makes people want to shave it, pluck it, and rip it down to bare skin. It’s stupid, painful and dangerous. I don’t get it. Our body image problem is way way WAY beyond the pale …
[soapbox alert] Current media have somehow managed to distort our images of self and other into some kind of twisted, baroque starvelings. We must resist that!! Cut slack for others as you would wish slack to be cut for yourselves, saith Jeebus Crust.
It’s a trap to focus too closely on “pieces and parts”, unless you’re buying chicken. Know what I mean?
When I went to “skin school” to get my esthetician license we had to watch many videos on waxing and the various styles people want down there — Waxing: It’s not just for women anymore!– but the videos were always getting stolen, especially the ones on how to do a real Brazilian Wax. But the worst thing about it all was having to wax people who walked in off the street. Beauty schools have cheap salons so students can practice. I used to wear a surgical mask when I had to do walk-ins, and I’ve also turned people away. Anyway, between the school and then working in salons I can honestly say that no one ever has a clue what’s “in” beyond the fact they don’t want a bush bursting out of their bathing suit. In a salon everyone (except for strippers) always asks what they should get and although you want to tell them, “You should get away from me with that thing,” you just tell them to go with whatever they’re most comfortable with. Usually they want whatever their boyfriend tells them to get, which is kind of sad.
Sometimes I am speechless after reading your posts……..and now is definately one of those times.
::deletes your site off the cmputer history,before stepmom checks what sites i have been to today::
wow Romi, it pretty hilarious/bizzare that this, among all topics, has become the most sensitive/ controversial.
To add to my take (because I am just so passionate about it…)
NO!! to the people saying let it grow where ever. It’s not about looking like a porn-star. It’s about having some pride in your appearence. God forbid a women heads to the beach unkept. Men and WOMEN alike would shriek in horror.
So just as a man keeps a cleanly shaven face, if in fact he cares about it, even with the thin “black guy beard” that I have.
It seems that the majority of female commentors here have preferred the landing strip as have most guys. Those who say “au natural” are the exception, more so than the rule, and considering one is a self-proclaimed feminist as given in her name, this should come as little surprise.
It should look like a landing strip *giggles*
I always based my perception of “down there” style on Samantha from SATC. I’m not sure where to turn to now.
Oh dear, I have been gone a long time.
This is my take on “grooming your vajajay” I think moderation is important. Like bald is not beautiful down there, and makes you look prepubescent, creepy. There is the “landing strip” the “triangle” (my preference. Just keep it from escaping from you bathing suit, that could get ugly. Neat and trim, unless you plan to do porno and then you will be stripped of anything resembling hair down there.
Romi dear, I have missed your humor, but I am back. V
Wow, such a wide array of opinions here, and so much information to guide me…
..it seemed that people’s comments fell into a few general buckets of opinions, so I’ll respond on an overall level for now:
ONE
-Firstly I have to admit I’ve never heard or thought of the whole “pedophile” association that comes from having the “naked look”, and yet that came up a few times…I find it very odd that “bald chicks” would be associated with pre-pubescent girls and thus potentially attract creepy pedophiles…by that token doesn’t shaving your arm-pits do the same thing, considering we aren’t cursed with arm-pit hair growth until puberty? And if so, when Summer rolls around and we’re flashin’ our shaved pits, aren’t we also making ourselves the targets of pedo’s and creepos? Is it a stretch? Maybe, but doesn’t the same logic apply? Hmmm…I mean if some chicks like it that’s great right? but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t put your b/f on the child-molester watch-list…
TWO
-And on the whole porn topic that was brought up a couple times, I’d hardly say that the increased incidence of porn has caused humanity to shift their perception on being “one with nature” or not…in fact the last time I checked there was world history beyond the 1970’s or beyond the Internet, and if you look further back to say…Ancient Egypt, you’ll find that they shaved their legs, arms, faces, hoohaas, they shaved here there and everywhere; I doubt that had anything to do with a 24-hour Ancient Egyptian porn channel, unless of course they were receiving satellite transmissions of smooth-skinned alien-porn, since it’s often argued that aliens actually built the pyramids…but clearly I’ve gone off on a tangent here so I digress…just rambling out-loud on different angles, ’cause it’s my blog and I can do that
THREE
–and slightly related to the last point, people’s support of “let it grow” or “be natural” is rather interesting, and I ask…why is that a good thing? I mean if something is associated with Mother Nature, does that automatically give it the green light? If that’s the case, why do we brush our teeth, take showers, comb our hair or do our laundry? It’s part for hygeine, and part to look and feel good…yes?..so until a hobo who doesn’t do any of those things tells me to appreciate the nature of life, I’ll be taking the current opinions on “natural” with a load of salt
FOUR
—And finally, to a couple of comments in particular, I’d like to think that there’s a happy medium between doing what you want to your body, and getting feedback from your significant other….you should most certainly do things for yourself first, but if you’re secure enough to ask for an opinion, why the hell not? I’m just saying…growing a jungle, mowing the lawn, getting a strip is all well and good, but seeking the opinion of your dude doesn’t automatically make you a meek submissive wench, not in my opinion anyway…
AND THANKS
Alright then, wow…what an interesting topic eh? It’s nice to know that I can ask a question and get so many helpful and informative perspectives
. This was like an episode of Oprah “After Dark” (LOL), with all of you as my very vocal and loveable audience, except unlike Oprah, I won’t be giving you any free shit, so fuck off.
nice take Romi. 25 PD pts.
Damn, I’m always late to the party. I wanted to sing a little ditty. Oh well, here goes…*ahem*…
“Hoo hee hoo haa haa, ting tang,
wala wala wham bam…”
I say do whatever you’re comfortable with, Romi. But just remember, wax is quick & painful but shaving makes you itch. Quite helpful, aren’t I?
Romi, whether it’s a mammoth bush or a pre-teen mound, bottom line is: there’s a pussy involved. That’s what men (the straight ones) are after, yes?
Me – I do the bald thang, and never have the scratchies, as I keep it smooove at all times. Occasionally and I say that very loosely as it only happens a few times a year, a landing strip gets put in there. Sometimes the husband requests it *shrugs*
I so want to comment on this topic and yet….and yet, i think I shall bite my tongue a little.
Personally, as Red put it, there is a pussy involved and as a heterosexual male, don’t care if its there in plain site or if its like looking for my golf ball in a thicket, I’m a happy guy. I will say though that pubic hair is a bitch to get stuck between your teeth….
well. no one ever wanted to “do” an armpit, did they? or perhaps I haven’t met the guy with the pit fetish yet…
Not having the time to peruse all the responses, I’ll just assume that no fewer than 20 people (all men no doubt) have said, “Shave that shi-ite!”
However, I have a FRIEND who tells me there are just as many “naturalist” porn sites out there as there are “Naughty Little SchoolGirl” sites, so I say, do whatcha wanna do!
Removing some hair makes sense for comfort and cleanliness, especially in summertime, however a totally bald hoo-hah looks like a Cornish game hen. What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned Playboy triangle, all trimmed and cute, like a little Christmas tree? No curly little hairs peeking out from the undies or anything, and smooth sailing once the legs are open, but something of a modesty panel covering the front just the same.
Wow— fantastic post Romi. You’re just wonderful, as always.
Personally, I have my hoohaw done up in braids and beads, but that’s just Tom’s preference. It takes a lot of time and the beads are sort of uncomfortable, but it’s worth it. My preference for him is that he show up, naked and hairy, and ready for love. We call it “bumping beads,” and of course, I just made all of this up.
I think it’s pretty funny when me and my late 30’s friends have in-depth conversations on waxing vs shaving pee pees. Oh, the times are a changing. I still remember the good old days of fros down below being all the rage …
Haha, you’re hilarious! I’m definitely adding you to my blog roll so I can come back!
Keep it neatly trimmed, or shave it off. It’s that simple.