When “Yeast” Became A Bad Word…
August 17, 2008
There was a time when I was a little girl. It was long before the days of cleavage and menstrual flow. Back then it was about those special Sundays, when mom would bake the homemade bread. I would always turn on the oven light, so I could witness the magical yeast. From flat dough to a pillow of bread, and all in a matter of seconds!
One of life’s little treasures.
A while later I heard the term ”yeast infection”.
My world turned upside down.
Bread would never be the same.
I tried really hard to keep my “bread memories” pure. This meant ignoring “Women’s Health” topics in gym class. Even now, I tune myself out at the doctor’s office, at even the faintest reference of “yeast”.
In other words I still don’t know what a “yeast infection” is (and I’m 27).
Despite my intentional ignorance, I saw a commercial for Canesten the other day (i.e. the #1 treatment for
yeast infections—’cause Bayer Inc told me so). In it, a mom described how yeast infections prevented her from playing tennis with her daughter. But then she started using Canesten, and presto: she’s been playing doubles with her child ever since. This equals one more daughter who won’t have to hate her mom…
…So from what I gather, yeast infections will screw up your tennis skills, among other things.
I’m actually not very good at tennis, but I like my badminton…should I be worried?
I will leave that question for the female experts, but whatever the answer, I hope this isn’t one of those “rite of passage” things. Like I will take your cramps Mother Nature, and sure I’ll rip out the hair that is your own little practical joke…I will even take the fact that you gave me more thigh than boob, and that the ratio will never be right.
But please oh please don’t give me the “yeast” thing.
Okay, good talk.
yeast could mess up your tennis playing since it causes you to have to itch down there every few seconds. just keep it dry and hopefully you will stay safe. peeing after sex also helps to wash away the bacteria that can lead to yeast. just so ya know!
Man, yeast infection should indeed be a bad word. I’d rather hear cuntfuck than yeast infection.
I’m 37, and have never had a yeast infection … its also called “The Wicked Itch,” right? I have no idea what physical symptoms it causes, but it sure sounds NASTY as hell … ughghhhh!
In Grade 7 sex ed, we had an anonymous question box in the classroom. The idea was that the questions we were too embarassed to ask would be put into the box and the school nurse would answer them each week.
Of course, this idea was lame, cuz you had to get in front of everybody to put your question in the box.
So me and my peeps were joking around about this box and I was all, ‘hahahaha, we should put in the question, ‘what’s a yeast infection?’ cuz only a loser wouldn’t know that!’
Of course, I was that loser and I was so cool that I got my question in the box and I’d get an answer but not be embarassed.
I was sick the next sex ed class and never got my answer.
Hahaha, that’s an awesome story talea. i too have never had a yeast infection. you can get other, minor infections after too much of the hoo-raw, as writeableramblings suggests. the doctors call it honeymoonitis.
Hahaha, I had something similar happen Talea. My friends and I were joking around, trying to figure out funny/gross questions to ask. Things the teacher would be embarrassed to ask. So I wrote down “what is a blowjob”. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to crumple the paper up in front of the teacher. So when she read the question out, she looked directly at me.
Hi Romi, you should check out this Family Guy video, it involves those moments when you’re feeling “not so fresh”:
http://tryforonce.blogspot.com/2007/09/this-week-in-duffboy.html
Good luck on the whole badminton-yeast-threat scenario
My mom’s side of the family is just a little bit crazy. When I feel the need to prove it, I always tell the story about how my aunt discussed her yeast infection at our big Thanksgiving dinner…quite loudly. The next Christmas, her boyfriend talked about the ‘quite classy’ Christmas party he attended as a businessman (owner of an ice company) at his favorite customer’s, a strip club.
My dog’s had em…lots of times. Does that count? And…does that make even grosser? I think so.
Your vajayjay has a lot of natural bacteria, but when it gets out of balance (which can also be due to hormonal changes), it can cause an icky white paste to appear and cause outrageous itching down there. That’s the shortest explanation I can think of. I’ve never had a full-blown one, and my guess is that some women never do, but apparently the over-the-counter medications they have for them now are nearly as good as not having had a yeast infection at all.
I knew a woman who douched all the time, and she also got yeast infections all the time. Proof that if you try to be too clean, you’ll just screw up your body’s natural cleansing mechanisms and make a bigger mess.
Fortunately at almost 60 years old I have never had the V-rot. When I had my health food store, I constantly had women in with it. I would have to patiently listen to their symptoms (gross) and then sell them the natural products that would help. I owned the store for 25 years and in a small town I was fairly well known as “The Medicine Woman”. The problem with that is I heard everyone’s symptoms of all sorts of gross problems. I had to listen to stories about constipation and diarrhea and other crappy crap. I know I helped a lot of people but I am glad I am retired. Instead of listening to stories about yeast infections today, I get to go to the beach.
When I am speeding around in the cripple cart at the grocery store I still have people stop me and ask questions about some awful problem they are having.
If you get a yeast infection-forget the medicine that the doctors prescribe–plain yogurt, (insert) kotex pad and it is gone in two days. The poison that the doctors give, burns, and it is unhealthy…Yeast is not a bacteria infection, enjoy life and yeast is yeast is part of the jock itch family except internally.
So, how about a biscuit?
good talk indeed romi…
Yeast is a scary word anyway but when you add “infection” on the end it’s terrifying. I think diaper rash on babies is actually a type of yeast infection. But I’m more concerned with the commercial…I cannot believe the commercials on TV these days. There’s some kind of dildo infomercial on TV here in El Paso, it’s like QVC or Homeshopping but all they sell are dildos, it’s insane. I don’t remember ads being this weird. Oh wait…years ago there was a commercial where the mother gave the daughter a douche bottle of some kind and just smiled at her. (UGH. I just Googled the word “douche” to make sure I was spelling it correctly and I saw that in 1928 there was a Lysol douche, so I of course clicked on it, and there was a letter from an 89-year-old woman from Canada who started using the Lysol douche age 17 and still loves it. I can’t believe she’s still alive.)
writerramblings: hmmm….I will take your recommendations and run with them…and seriously I have no problem peeing all over the place as long as I can find someone to accomplish part one with me(i.e. the “sexy time”)…did I just say I’m excited about peeing all over the place?….lol
bronson: HAHAHAHAHA….I mean…no, all I can do is laugh to that one…
thegirlfromtheghetto: 37 and going strong? Hey that is very good to know, and based on the look of that woman’s face in the commericial, I will trust the statement “NASTY as hell”…!!
talea: that is one of the best stories ever
…there is so much “good story potential” when it relates to “7th Grade Health Class”…we actually had the “question box” in our 5th grade health class; our teacher was a male and I wrote “how big is your penis?” and put it in the box (NO LIE)….he got to the “how big” part and didn’t read the rest of the question….then he didn’t answer any questions and said that whoever wrote that ruined it for everyone…lol..I guess that was me! 
Emerald: based on my quotient of desperation right now (super-sky-high), I would volunteer to get some honeymoonitis right now
kerplar: OH NO, you crumpled the paper!!! There goes being “anonymous”, but umm…did she answer your question?
duffboy: hahaha, I remember seeing that Family Guy clip way back when, but it had been a while since I last saw it, thanks for the laugh
PS: I will not let anything get in the way of me and my badminton success!!!!
Allison: hahaha, I wish I was in your family! On the other hand that might have meant knowing more than I ever wanted to know..and hey, strip clubs need their ice too!
dobeman: WHAT!?!!!? So women and dogs get the same afflictions??? Suddenly being a chick just got even better, hahaha…
crisitunity: I have questions, and yet I’m afraid of knowledge…i.e. this is me reading your comment: “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA”….hahaha, but thanks for the info
joanharvest: V-rot?!?!? Lol…I love that (but also hate it, hahaha…)
“Instead of listening to stories about yeast infections today, I get to go to the beach. “…LMAO..that is by far the quote of the day
nearlynormalized: I don’t like anything that’s referred to as part of the “jock itch” family, but thanks for the info anyway…haha
Pure Evyl: biscuit??? Ummm..you know ever since I saw that commercial, I’ve kind of been off carbs..lol
leafprobably: I felt like it was a good talk, and I hope Mother Nature was listening…either that or she’s laughing at me, ’cause she seriously dropped some mean-ass cramps in my lap yesterday (lol…was that too much information???
)
Wendy: “dildo infomercial”?!?!? On the home shopping channel!?!? You can’t be serious! I can just imagine some sensible looking woman in a patterned vest and big gold earrings (that is my frame of reference when it comes to those spokeswomen) explaining the benefits of a dildo…that is..in fact…insane (do they do that shopper’s channel thing where they put a running tally of the “quantity sold” in the corner of the screen??? Hahaha….)
PS: leave it to a Canadian to get hooked on a Lysol douche….WOW…
The post, the comments…are all so infectious I can’t stop laughing. And “V-rot”…hahaha…disturbing.
The only time I’ve EVER had a yeast infection was when I was loaded up on the highest dose of antibiotics known to man, and not only did I get the itch “down there”…I got a yeast infection in my mouth, a.k.a. thrush. Worst time of my life. EVER. Lesson to be learned – antibiotics are bad. Very bad.
…So from what I gather, yeast infections will screw up your tennis skills, among other things.
You’re fucking hilarious.
I remember asking my mom what a yeast infection was after I saw a commercial. To this day I’m still not the same.
It’s true that peeing after sex helps prevent an infection from too much fun and the ever icky yeast infections. I am not looking forward to explaining this to my daughter.
You are one sick chick.
i have no advice about yeast infections, for I have never had one.
i hope you never get one . i hope i never get one. eww.
Yikes, I meant to get here yesterday but have been feeling under the weather and I’m sure I just got distracted by some shiny thing or other. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve never had to experience a yeast infection. I got one after being prescribed antibiotics for strep throat. Apparently some antibiotics kill the good bacteria and then you end up with a yeast infection. Fortunately the stuff they have to get rid of them these days works quickly and easily. I think Kaylee has a point. LOL.
It’s so not a big deal. I don’t know Code Red yeast infection Tennis Girl got, but if you ask me they are a minor annoyance. The thing is, you can get them from having to be on antibiotics for a time. I had back surgery and that caused me to be on antibiotics for days…well EVERYTHING went crazy in my system. So then I had to enter the world of Monistat users. But they are so not a big deal and I can’t imagine them stopping a tennis game…but maybe she’s a big pussy.
Yeah, I’m 26, but I haven’t the foggiest as to what a yeast infection really is.
But damned if I don’t imagine the worst.
Gasp, Maleesha, what a naughty pun in that last phrase!
2lazydogs: OH NO, you poor thing, I am SO “anti” anti-biotics now! You are a survivor, go drink a bottle of wine for what you’ve been through! Seriously.
hierophant: hahaha…how old were you? If I have a son and he asks me that, I don’t know what I will do…I will probably make something up involving robots and aliens so I can entertain him instead of disturbing him…lol
May: good luck with explaining that to your little girl, ’cause simply hitting play on the Canesten commercial won’t really clear things up, hahaha…
kaylee2: I’m a sick chick? Hahaha…maybe I’m a little twisted, but these are real questions on my mind!
Red: thank you for the mutual prayers that we both don’t get hit with this. We should both become super-heroes, and we can wear costumes with a big “V” on our chest…V-Power! LOL…I don’t know what I’m saying as I am sort of under the weather right now, but in any case I will be your sidekick
teeni: uh-oh now I’M under the weather!!! What’s going on in the Internet!
Anyhoo thanks for sharing your experience, and I’m definitely getting some bad feedback on anti-biotics, though I know that’s not a general rule…and NO, Kaylee is wrong!!… 
Maleesha: “Code Red yeast infection Tennis Girl”….hahaha, I think she was wearing red too!
And it’s good to know that the real life thing might not actually be such a kick in the coot…lol
JoshC: this is one case in which your imagination will only take you down dark and scary roads; think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts!
crisitunity: HAHAHA…I know, I got the worst imagery in my head when she said that!
Great post Romi. I’m sad that “beaver” is off limits too because the beaver is such a peaceful, wood-working animal, and now our society has made it taboo.
I’ll just keep coming back to get the laughs. What could I add to this perfectly hilarious post. Badminton? I swear.. you’re killing me.
Interesting how the advertisement showed the yeast infection to be so serious that the mother could not play tennis…when in effect it is annoying but easily treatable…like anything in life when peopel have not had a lot of health issues it is a big thing but to others who have it is nothing really and is in fact a side effect of the treatment for some things…as Kaylee above would have known if she had really had cancer.
I can spell people…it is one of
my most common typos though!!
Magik Quilter: yes, it was such an odd ad, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to show it, haha, thanks for finding my blog
Well, I’m 23 and I have a yeast infection right NOW and I can tell you it itches, burns, swells and makes you shun the bread and savor the yogurt. I’ve had several yeast infections, I guess I’m just prone to them because I don’t normally use douche but I get one about once a year.. UGH. I’ve done the yogurt tampon thing before, but it only soothes the problem, it doesn’t really take it away unless you catch your yeast infection early on. I’m taking AZO pills for yeast infections, and at the moment I’m staring at at Monistat One, which is like a syringe filled with some kind of cream that gets rid of the infection pretty quickly and easily, but you have to use it at night before bed, I guess so it doesn’t all leak out right after it’s inside of your vajay. Yeast infections are miserable – they stay on the forefront of your mind until they are gone and make you walk funny because your vaginal lips swell up and you can actually feel the itch .. inside you. Oh, and don’t even get me started on sex and the yeast infection. I learned that as soon as you get that little knowing tingle, you might as well abstain, because there’s nothing worse than finding out you have a yeast infection after a painful romp in the bed with your boyfriend and the little white thingies that come out of you afterwards and during, not to mention the feeling that his penis is similar to a hot sword grinding through your vagina, which is no doubt going to be feeling dry in a wet way, and bumpy or cut. EWWWW and OWWWW, that’s right, girls. On the other hand, I’m not really a cake-from-scratch (lol, I said scratch) kind of girl, so I’ve never actually seen yeast in positive action. When I see those yeast packets in the store, not only do I imagine it’s a powdered form of those little white things that come out of you, but I get the hell out of the aisle.
Happy baking!