The Man Who Saved Me
August 20, 2008
Days that start off “clumsy” usually go to the toilets fast.
Such was my feeling yesterday morning, when I spilled a pile of change all over the Starbucks counter.
As I awaited the pissed off *sighs* from the customers behind me, something weird happened:
-A muscular arm reached over my shoulder, and gathered all the change in one efficient sweep.
I managed a shy “thanks”, but couldn’t bring myself to turn around…why had he been so kind?
That’s when I remembered the special underwear I was wearing. It’s the kind that sucks in both your butt cheeks, and spits them back out as two very cuppable “basketballs”. Well not “regulation-sized” basketballs, ’cause that would be like “ass-fetish-convention” huge, but moreso the mini-ones…very cuppable indeed.
Once I’d established my round-butt confidence, I turned around to smile at my saviour.
He was…good-looking. Like more good-looking than the cretins I usually wave my cleavage at.
We spent the next two minutes giggling and making small talk. He was grade-A friendly.
So he was nice…AND good-looking?
Wow, let the vagina-giveaway begin!
But wait, there was a snag: our coffees had been served. Transaction complete. I didn’t want to lose this feeling…what to do?
Well I didn’t have to do a thing, because he asked for my number (boy, that doesn’t usually happen).
He called me later that day (he has a sexy phone voice…this pleases me). And here’s the kicker: we have our first date on Saturday night. It’ll just be a drink or two (or seven).
I’m obviously thrilled but it’s hard to show it, as I’ve been very sick today (cue the sound of me puking up my own bile).
So I’ve got 3 days to heal, but on the flip side, I will probably lose five pounds if I feel like crap ’til Saturday. Hmmm…stay sick, lose five pounds. I like the sound of that (hence my intention to sniff my own vomit later…).
Only one question left: how slutty should I dress?
***
PS: If the date actually happens I will publicize the details on Sunday, ’cause you know, I’m all about discretion…
You’d better wash your special underwear. Is it like Cinderella’s shoe?
yay! I’d go for a “medium” on the slutometer. Just incase he is a nice boy. You don’t want to be too extreme in either direction.
I wish that would happen to me just once.
I’m not gay, but it would be nice, you know?
Now you’re going to ALWAYS have to wear the mini-basketball cupping underwear. Better go buy more pairs.
To answer your question: VERY.
Aww, I hope you feel better in plenty of time for your date. I don’t know what this crap is going around. I’m still getting over a horrible cold myself. I’m the type that doesn’t take drugs unless I absolutely have to but I must now admit that I think I’m in love with Benadryl. Anyway, Romi – that is what we love about you – that you are not afraid to kiss and tell so we will all be glued to our monitors Sunday night to hear the details!
We love you whether Kaylee’s right or not! LOL.
Don’t dress too slutty, but you know, let him know you’re a woman. Also, don’t get overly shmammered, it’s not too attractive.
Woohooo!
Don’t go too slutty – you can always up the ante but it’s very hard to go back once you’ve already reached a certain exposure level.
From the male perspective I would suggest you dress fairly slutty but just short of hookerish. And of course I mean hi dollar hooker and not street walker hookerish, save that for the third date.
yahhhoooooooooooooo !! romiliiiiiita !!!!!
I say what pannies? no pannies. dont need ‘em, girl.
i doooo hope you’re feeling better by then, cuz he dont need a face full of vomit when yall have your first kiss.
i’ll be awaiting the details on sunday! yahoooo!
Good for you! Let’s hope he’s not the “babygirl” type.
I’m jealous. This kind of thing NEVER EVER happens to me. *sigh* I can only imagine…
Good for you. I think I’ve got a date with a new girl as well. Same type of BS probably with the drinks.
PS: If the date actually happens I will publicize the details on Sunday
You remind me of myself when you say that. I never believe anything is true until it actually happens when it comes to women.
Woohoo, go Romi!
I say go medium on the slutty dress and moderate on the slutty attitude, gradually ramping up to “heavy” if the situation merits. The “good girl” who turns out to be a tiger is a killer, I tell you, a killer!
Now, have we checked his background? Done a google search? Checked police records? How about his tax return, you can tell quite a lot from that. You will love this website: http://www.syl.com/articles/howtocheckbackgroundofyourpotentialmate.html
Romi! I’m all hand-flapping-happy for you! Ohhh, how exciting!
I do expect details. And you must concoct a funny nickname for him, natch.
If this date doesn’t work, you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Throwing money around will bring the boys.
Woo!
I must get a pair of this magical underwear!
I say show him a little cleavage, and leave the rest as an awesome surprise for later!
Feel better soon and have a great time with Mr. Handsome!
this is for real?
Hmm ok.
1.same underpants. (wash them first.)
2.push-up, plenty of cleave.
3.best perfume.
4.act completely disinterested.
The sluttier you dress, the happier I’ll be.
Oh wait a second, the date isn’t with me?
Good luck and the sluttier you dress the more pics you should post.
Where can I get me some of that underwear???
Squeee!! How exciting!
Moderate on the slut level, and natch you must wear the same magical undies!
You are the funniest girl … I’d love to hang out sometime! You just crack me up.
wooooo exciting!!! i want to hear all details!
and seriously, where does one score a pair of these basketball panties?
as for slut factor, i would go for a shirt that hugs your boobies as oppose to throwing the cleavage all over the place. classy sexy, good for boys you actually want to take home
that’s not NO cleavage, by the way, but you want to make sure he pays attention to your face too!
oh, and the basketball panties, natch
YAY Romi!
Been missing you while away, girl…glad to see you gots some action coming your way!
This sounds like a Romi-licious experience indeed. Let us know how it turns out, please.
P.S. Thanks for my b-day wishes, and I really dugg your Glamour article. Made me sorta envious of the married couple…
Good Luck!!!
Definately wear the same panties. They were lucky once, they might be again.
Yay for the date! I expect a full report later today!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? This is fantastic Romi. I need to know how that date went last night, but even more important, what kind of underwear were you wearing? I need supple basketball ass too. Let me know.
Eek!!! Today is Sunday. Don’t make me check Facebook for pictures/details!
Hmm, You should go for slutty. But not the porn star side of slutty, but perhaps more like the naughty librarian side?
Also… Where might one buy a pair of these magical panties?? Do they have a name?
Uh…Romi?
WELL?!?
C’mon, Darlin’…we are all DYIN’ to know!
Or are you still lying in sweat-soaked sheets with him?
Hey Everyone: thanks for all your advice and encouragement! I read all your tips before going out last night, and yes, I have some details to share on the encounter. Coming up in a bit…
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Romi, you are just hilarious. “…’cause that would be like “ass-fetish-convention” huge”
Romi, what’s with this group response crap!?! I demand personalized, heartfelt responses to my comments going forward! You got that?
favorited this one, guy