The Date That Led Me Here…
August 27, 2008
To “hit it”, or not to “hit it”…?
That was the question last time out, following my date with a very good-looking but “not so fun” kind of guy.
The comments from my last entry left me with some questions: do you continue along with someone who doesn’t let you be yourself? Just so you can have a little “fun”?
The answer of course is “yes”, because even though I’m waiting for a suitable freak who can love all of this (pointing towards myself), I’m starting to wonder if I’m still up to speed with the “intercourse” thing…like have there been any new developments? Is my “junk” still relevant in the market?
With this burning question in mind (ya, sometimes it burns), I’ve decided that he deserves another chance…
…One small problem though: he never called. Never called, never texted, never tried to watch me from my bedroom window, not a single sign of pursuit.
Huh…go figure. I suppose he found me as distasteful as I found him “stab-me-in-the-eye-please” boring.
This is normally the part where I’d dust off my copy of “He’s Just Not That In To You”, and eat half a “thaw ‘n serve” cheesecake. Then I would put on a flowy shirt, and roll down my pajama pants to “half-ass” length. Eventually of course the stomach-swell would pass, via Biology’s natural de-bloater (i.e. bowel movement). I’m not proud of any of that, but it’s just the usual process…
…In this case though, I am not quite ready to surrender myself to the dating gods. This time I simply don’t care enough. It was only one date, and even though he didn’t do what he said he would do (i.e. call), that’s just what they do (right?). And okay, even if it DID have something to do with me, my ego will not accept it. Not tonight baby.
So I will skip the cheesecake and go to bed alone…yet again. But when I do eventually drift off, I will think of the dude for me; the one who is so damn stupid he hasn’t even found me yet. And when I do imagine his sweet but firm ass, I will quietly demand that he hurry the hell up…
Year of the Chick: 8 months down…4 to go.
well he’s a damned fool.
No, no, no Romi! Its no fun if you have to be an actress 24/7. Whew, acting like yourself is the best … by my 2nd date w/my hubby, I had him come over, while I was in Hello Kitty PJ’s and no make-up. I felt that comfy not to pretend that I don’t have an irrational Hello Kitty fetish. Side note, my step daughter and I had the same pj’s at one point, so I had to never wear them again … ha ha ha) But, if its been a long time since its been “hit” and you need it, then by all means, just do a damn hit and run girl!
I have a plan…
How about a “wardrobe malfunction” next time?
Or you could always have “Year of the Chick, The Second Season.”
Not to scare you, but if you don’t find him by the end of season 2, you may have to move on to “Year of the Crazy Cat Lady.” I don’t think we’ll get to that. Maybe you could have “Year of Lowered Expectations.”
Good luck, Romi.
I expect a personal response to this comment!
Yes Romi, there’s no way your year “ends” on Dec. 31…
Miss Romi, we want to hear all about your dating escapades well into your…uh…upper 20’s…(or for roughly the next 10 years…)
The comments are fantastic, LOL – especially the “wardrobe malfunction”!!! Indeed, whipping out a pierced nipple has always worked for me in the past. I still do it when I get bored, but after nursing 3 babies and turning 38- it’s not exactly an exciting response anymore…. …. hmmm….
No, ya don’t hang around if you cannot be yourself in front of him. Not even for the sex. He’s an idiot. Move on sista! Whip out the nip Romi; that was sage advice from morethananelectrician!
No wardrobe malfunctions, please, Romi: he deserves none of “that” (pointing at you, if were you in front of me). Damn it Romi, how come I live 3 countries away? I’d be all over you like stink on a monkey
Bah. Duller-than-ditchwater dipshits are not worthy.
Open Prayer to the God of Her Choice.
Mr God,
Having let me do the silent spectator thingie for ages, you figured now’s as good a time as any (don’t know why myself, but maybe its your way of kickin Romi when she’s already down?)to make my first appearance. Her wit is astonishing (not being a sexist here but whatever!)and her stories vacillate between high octane laughter and free porn reads on a horribly over protected office network. Either which way, its all good!
Not that I wouldn’t wish her well, but I’d rather you land some more failed dates her way until we, the audience, find a life for ourselves.
Amen? / Shalom? / Om?
Peace Romi. I speak for the people (MPD inclusive, that’s 9 of us i speak for.)
Laughter is an aphrodisiac and if you couldn’t find a sense of humor together, ON TO THE NEXT! Bummer, but keep putting yourself OUT THERE.
I’m rooting for you!!
Call him once. That’s it.
A)If he answers, be very casual and see if he’d like to meet up again. If there’s no effort on his part to make plans, run.
B)If he doesn’t answer, leave a cute generic “wonderin’ what you’ve been up to” and move on.
If he calls back, refer to section A. I’m terribly forgetful, and bad about calling (even my mom). That just might be the case.
Is it wrong that I’m actually really worked up about this issue? I mean, I really feel the need the go and have a “word” with this guy. I guess I’m a little confused: here is this guy squandering an opportunity to frolic and cavort with Miss Romi, an opportunity that most mortal men with a brain wouldn’t pass up.
hmmmm….am I confused or jealous? Probably a little of both… heehee
He’s an idiot if he didn’t call, although lucky you that he didn’t. Life is too short to waste on boring dates.
I agree – he’s a twit and not worth the cheesecake induced bellyache.
I also agree with glassowater – dude needs his examined for squandering his opportunity.
I really don’t understand why any guy would not appreciate your personality and your fun sense of humor. I think he takes himself too seriously. He sounds less fun to be around than a stick in the mud.
YUMMY chessecake cant get past that worrd LOL!
It’s bizarre – think about it, you found him boring, yet you still subjected yourself to a full body and soul evaluation from the whole experience.
I mean, why not go find a raving hobo and go ‘Hey, evaluate my body and soul and I’ll really, seriously listen to your evaluation and internalise every single bit!’
We all like to be evaluated (even when it comes out bad for us), but jeez, not everyone is actually competent at evaluating. He was not competent, yet you subjected yourself to full evaluation anyway – mistake, Will Robinson, Mistake!
Figure out the kind of men you’d like to be evaluated by – not random hobo’s, not ‘cold inside’ man. Then go out with them – this just wansn’t a fair evaluation.
First time on blog…. My conclusion is that you are too funny and talented not to be quite attractive. Try to find a date with enough brains to appreciatate what really matters. If he is boring, he is not good enough for you. Keep at it, keep us informed, and good luck
If he doesn’t call, you can assume he’s dead and move on. Of course, if he isn’t actually dead, you can safely assume he’s brain-dead, which really amounts to the same thing.
Why is eating cheesecake better than a deadbeat man?
The cheesecake is soft and creamy
The man is a boring stiff
The cheesecake surrounds your tastebuds with sweetness
The man leaves a bad taste in your mouth
A man can leave you with a bad after taste in your mouth……..
Things will get better. Just hang in there. a better tasting man and a better looking one is just around the corner.
You gotta sift through a lot of boring dates to get to the good ones. It’s all about patience. It’s cliche, but it’s true. One day it’ll make sense…that’s how I look at it.
Maybe you just had to suffer through Mr. Boring to get to a date with Mr. Awesome? Who knows?
As a side note:If things don’t work out with George (now that I’m back home for a bit), you could see yours truly out there along side you, crappy boring dates and all!
And speaking of boring and/or awesome things, I nominated you for an award over on my blog!
You are SO my hero.
You know how you can never find your house keys when you’re in a hurry? Or that spare change for a phone call when your battery dies?
Maybe it’s the same with mr. right: try too hard to find it and it escapes you, forget that you ever wanted or needed it and it’ll be popping up everywhere!
I don’t know what it is, but the least interest you show, the more interested in you the guys seem to be.
Anyways, you are way too young and smart, and funny to be worrying about meeting the perfect man, enjoy your free time now that you got it, you’ll miss it when you have to clean after him and take care of the little ones
You know, it’s POSSIBLE that he did peek at you through your window. He might be a really accomplished stalker, and you just didn’t notice. Let’s hope for that.
Perhaps you can buy him a personality as a gift.
Think of it this way, dear Romi. While you may not have savored the “monkey stink”, at least your integrity is intact. In fact, that your integrity survives all your brave experiments and encounters is testament to your brilliance. This brilliance will prevail and will take all the time it needs, even when the “Year of the Chick” comes to an end.
Monkey stink is overrated anyhow. As we all know all too well.
You know he ran off to do some secret fetish porn stuff, right? I mean, there’s no way somebody can be that bland and not have some kind of weirdness. Poor guy is probably incapable of a relationship. There you are in your round bottom glory, and he can’t stop thinking about toenail clippings. You’re better off, really. That’s always awkward at any kind of family or social function when people ask “so what do you do?”
“I will think of the dude for me; the one who is so damn stupid he hasn’t even found me yet.”
Great writers are often weird and lonely honey, so at least for the moment take comfort in the fact that your life seems to be right on track… He’s a comin’, don’t worry.
You were just too much excitement for him. He couldn’t handle you. A person with no sense of humor would be torture to hang around with. The Man for the Chick will come into your life. I believe!
Andy: maybe he’s a fool, or maybe he’s just not my type…barely knew him afterall, but thanks for damning him
thegirlfromtheghetto: hahaha…I will never think of the term “Hit and Run” the same way again, and wow…Hello Kitty eh? That’s something I never knew about you
morethananelectrician: you want me to pull a Janet Jackson? Well whether he likes my humour or not, that is bound to get his attention!
…but alas, some days have passed since the “no call”, so at this point, I think it’s over and done with!
Daddy Dan: okay, here is your personal comment…Okay, that is all.
LOL..okay, that’s NOT all, but a second season of “Year of the Chick” scares me…however let’s be realistic…are things really going to happen according to my time-line? No…but will I keep writing about it at the expense of my pride??? That one is “to be determined” …
Nigel: I’m already in my “upper 20’s” goddammit! Okay 27, but upper enough…and jeez, does no one think I can seal the deal in a year? You’re all talking about season 2 or season 3 and there’s still 1/3 of season 1 to go! This can only mean that I’ve failed you readers…I’ve failed you.
javaqueen: WOW…LMAO…after yours and Electrician’s comment, suddenly both my “nips” are blushing, hahaha
PS: SHUT UP…you rock a pierced nipple? I could see that! I could SO see that! I mean…not that I’m picturing it or anything…wow this is awkward.
duffboy: sometimes geography wins out, but in any case I can smell your stink from here, so thanks for that, I feel loved! (HAHAHA…
)
Taoist Biker: “duller than ditch water dip-shit”…wow that’s like, some cool alliteration or something (I’m too lazy to check if that’s the right poetic term…lol )
Joe: oh my gosh, WHO ARE YOU? And THANKS! First of all when you used the word “vaciliate” you already rocketed up the charts as one of my fave readers (
), and secondly, wow 9 people? You speak for a whole army of romi-rooters???? And what is “MPD”, the place you work at???
Lastly, because of all of the above-mentioned good things, I will let it slide that you actually wished for me to have more failed dates (that was a naughty, naughty request, but again, I’ll let it slide
)
CuriousC: Oh I know what you mean; like do you know how horny I get just from watching a half hour of Comedy Central when I’m all by myself? Gotta love that laughter…lol, and thanks!
Jonathan Torres: I doubt that he was forgetful, and I just wasn’t willing to sacrifice my pride with a “wonderin’ where you’ve been” call if he was only “so-so”…I save those pride-free embarrassing moments for when I am obsessed (lol), but thanks!
glassowater: whether you are confused or worried I appreciate it! But don’t even think about it for another second, it was very pre-lim, keep movin’ on
leafprobably: you are so right; I try to entertain myself as much as possible when I am by myself (does that sound weird?), so I can’t have all that goodness weighed down by boring “group time”…okay well not group, ’cause I don’t do the “group-thing”…ahh, I digress…
rambleicious: you’re right, and I’ve been exercising all weekend post-dude, so I think I’ve earned myself a warmed-up cream-cheese frosted cinnamon bun and homemade mocha-cappuccino for tonight…oohhhh yeahhhh
Greg: I could say that exact same statement out-loud (i.e. why doesn’t he appreciate my personality?), but to really believe that in all seriousness, would mean that my soul has failed me and my ego has won. I mean YOU can say it, by all means go ahead! But for me, there’s not a lot you can say after one date…maybe I didn’t sound as cool as I thought from his point-of-view…maybe I am not a harsh enough critic of my personality….who knows…I do have my annoying tendencies…lol
callans: that is an interesting comment, and I thank you for it . Here’s the thing though: if anything, I did NOT subject myself to a full “body and soul evaluation”…as in: I did NOT read that book, I did NOT eat myself into a caloric oblivion thinking I’m not “good enough”…I thought about it for five minutes (minus writing this post, which has a whole other purpose)…said “huh”…and that was that. I didn’t wonder if I have a bad personality, because I know I don’t…he just wasn’t vibing on it, for whatever reason…lol.
And also, it’s easy to say “look for the type of guy you want to be evaluated by, and then date those”, but it’s not that simple is it? I mean we start off meeting strangers, and only after hanging out with them for a bit, do we start to figure out if they’re actually the kind of people we’d like. It’s not a science it’s a gamble, and if it’s any easier than that and I’m missing the big secret, well then I’m missing the big secret…
Paul Hoag: thanks for the visit and I hope you come back, because the way things are going, I won’t have it solved by next post
kyknoord: well he never called so that is that. Maybe he’s brain-dead or maybe he met someone else or maybe I’m not his type; whatever, he will RUE the day for missing out on a gal like me!…or not…hahaha
deliveryqueen: thanks for the visit and I loved the nature of your comment…tell me more about these tasty men you speak of
hierophant: and that’s a very logical way of looking at it…not a fun way of looking at it, but logical
lonelycanadiangirl: well I DO hope things work out, but it’s not like I wouldn’t welcome a partner to be out on the prowl with…welcome back!
Taoist: An award? For me??? Umm OF COURSE I’ll be checking that out, thanks!
peaches: I don’t know what I did to be your hero, and I think we have to get you a better figure to look up to (lol), but thanks anyway, you are sweet!
vegabotain: yes, I keep being told to enjoy it, but quite frankly I’ve had enough, bring on the lazy-slob-man (okay, okay, NO, I take that back )
PS: and I hear that all the time as well, that when you’re not looking for it, it punches you in the face…hmmm..maybe phase III of Year of the Chick can be “play it aloof”
Matt: no way dude, if he was a stalker I would’ve known..i.e. I’ve got motion sensors and cameras EVERYWHERE, ’cause the way I see it, if I have a stalker, my ego wants to know about it!
Pure Evyl: yeah….I think the Personality store is located right next the the “buy a perfect man” store; I’ll pick one up for him tomorrow
David: I don’t know…monkey-stink has its charms…don’t you think?
And “integrity”…”brillance”? Call it what you want but that sort of thing seems to happen by accident… like I have shown time and time again that I am willing to toss my pride to the nearest starving vagrant…just haven’t had the chance to yet
PS: but thank you for the encouragement, you are rather sweet
Em: yay, the fetish-explanation!!! I didn’t even think of that! And you’re right, in terms of fetishes, he was either going to be a “toenail clippings” guy, or a “balls of hair from a hairbrush” type of guy…ewww on both counts, and thanks for that dude!
Simonne: first of all I have a lot to prove before landing in a group of “great writers”, I’m too humbled after hearing that. Secondly…I hope that I CAN become a good enough writer to have an explanation for how weird and lonely I currently am, hahaha
writeableramblings: “the man for the chick” I love that…and yes, I am very domineering, so I wouldn’t just want to be somebody’s “gal”, I would want the dude to be “Mr. Romi”…lol
PS: I put lots of smiley-faces in this comment-reply ’cause you know I’m a smiley-face whore, but none of them are showing up or being saved, so if it seems like my reply to you is missing that certain light-heartedness, it’s the smiley-face that’s missing. Sorry. (and I can’t even put a smiley-face THERE!…dammit)
Romie, I read this post and the previous (related)two. This guy deserve none of your attention and certainley none of this *points at you* … not even for the sake of an intercourse update. Really, he’s obviously not attuned to you. Which means he’ll always be a nuisance.
p.s.: sorry for not keeping in touch!
p.p.s: I am glad you’re still available!
Hi Romi,
Yeah, you didn’t read that book, your right.
In terms of finding the right guy and science/gamble, here’s a thought – second guess what your dream guy is doing. Get into his head and imagine things from his perspective – how would he be searching for his perfect woman (you!), where would he look? What would he look for – what signals would he be trying to give, or would he be looking so hard he’d forget to give signals? Would his work give him enough searching time?
By imagining him from his perspective and his own search, you can better locate him
Let’s just call me a secret admirer (ermm, so much for that now, obviously!), i’d prefer to be the e-stalker, but it seems to me that you have extremely high expectations and low faith when it comes to your stalkers. While shooting myself in the foot is a regular occurence, i also learn from said mistakes!
MPD is:
Accdg to me ‘mostly an (e)pileptic doofus.’
Accdg to the doc = ‘multiple personality disorder’
Accdg to Mr. God = ‘mostly degenerate scum’ (he’s got his spelling wrong. but he is God you know? he can make a whole new spelling if he wants to)
Should i go on? I think not. Pissing in public places of worship tends to lead to castration.
I still stand by my original wish – may your quest continue! If i find my equally epileptic doofus’ette, ill give you a heads up and you can then find your mystery man, settle down and write the boring shit that most previously-single-but-currently-fucked people do cause i’d have a life of my own too! But until then, cant help but be selfish. Esp. in the e-world, it IS every man for himself you know?
Sayanora to the chicklet from the piglet!
Peace
Correction: Mr. God’s got his abbreviations wrong, not spelling. And to take the spotlight away from his mistake, he cheated and made it look like it was of my making! Gee, he’s a sharp fella isnt he!
Ok, going away now.. my gutter beckons to be crawled back into!
So i totally read this trilogy wrong. i started off with this one, and then went to #1, and ended off with #2. that’s some good shit though. and although he didnt call, that is a happy ending because he seems to be shmuck to me.
p.s. love the new page for your blog…it looks so pretty and it’s perfect! well done
dubaijazz: Well I am NOT glad that I’m still available (haha), but nice to hear from you; hope you’re well!
callans: maybe I could use your advice of trying to see things from a man’s perspective; right now I am so wrapped up in being a chick that it is a constant-estrogen overload…need to testosteronize my outlook, thanks
Joe: oooh, an e-stalker, well isn’t that fun! Hahaha (*nervous laugh*…
). And “chicklet”, lol I like that…well good luck on finding Miss Doofus-ette, but hurry up, ’cause if I still have to be single while you’re still single…well shit, I don’t have a lot of time…hurry up!
Slut Sandals: hahaha…you have always seemed like the type to not do things in order just for fun
. Quite the shmuck indeed, and no, YOU’re pretty and perfect! 
(haha…)
Oh, no, no, no, Romi. No humor = no good. I’d rather rip my eyelashes out and have leeches put on my body than date a man without a sense of humor. On to the next adventure!
You gotta pick a fun guy. I mean you don’t actually HAVE to, cause lots of boring guys find women for some reason, but to me, as an incredibly fun and interesting person, I would imagine that any guy less outgoing and wild than me would be boring and therefore unsatisfactory and probably terrible in bed. Although I will not lie about this, I have had sex with people I didn’t like just cause I wanted some sex. Sometimes you need to drop your standards for s romp or two and then ditch the loser. If you need a deep dickin, do what you gotta do, we won’t judge you.
Of course I’m joking, we will all vehemently judge you to your face, but that’s not the point. Also, what happens when the year of the chick is over? Did you cover that yet?