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The Truth About “The Guy”…

December 7, 2008

computerloveRemember “the guy”?

The one who’s sent me a few hundred emails?  The one who frustrates me but in a good way?  And the one I mentioned last time?

Well you’ve all had some interesting thoughts, the boldest of them being: “make a move!”

Making moves is the best!  But there’s a tiny little thing I didn’t mention:

-I haven’t met him yet

This is the part of the story where you all say “pffft!”, or “good luck!”, or “is she on crack?”

Or maybe you won’t even say that; maybe technology makes this a little less crazy.

And in case you were wondering, here’s a little detail on the story…

…I met this guy through the Internet about a year ago.  I wasn’t looking for him and he wasn’t looking for me (in other words I still don’t know if  “Match.com” really works).  Instead you could describe it as two solitary rocks, who happened to collide in cyberspace.  

Common interests and a common sense of humour kept our contact afloat, a fact that was surprising to both of us.  As the light-hearted contact continued, I launched into the “Year of the Chick”, desperate to find a man.  As for “cyber guy”, he was a guaranteed source of “email fun”.  I mean of course there was some flirting there, but I never once thought that my heart was  in danger (do you smell that? It’s the scent of denial…).

As the months went on, our contact progressed.  I didn’t over-analyze the element of  “why”, but part of me started to wonder:  “Why am I writing him a page-long email to go with his morning coffee?  And why is he?”.  I’d never done that before, and I was also starting to like him…a lot.  And that’s when denial returned, with a heavier bitch-slap than ever before (bitch-slaps are always heavy when there’s thousands of miles and an ocean involved).

And so the “Year of the Chick” went on…When it came to “3D” chances, what I found was an assortment of freaks, jerks and boring office men.  To be honest, I’m not even sure if my heart was ever into the constant “searching”.  Not when my inner thoughts were so consumed with someone else (oooh…look at me and my 20/20 hindsight! Boy did I ever waste some time at those snooty bars…).

There’s still a little more to the story, like the part where I had so many questions (questions like:  are you married with eight kids?  Do you have a murderous past?  Are you banging seeing anyone else?).  Some of the answers weren’t that hard to find (i.e. social networks, 3rd party votes of confidence).  For others the answers got a little messy (and only with “trust” were they ever cleaned up).

I would love to wrap up the story now, so I can get to the current issues  (including my own insistence that I haven’t imagined it all).  But alas,  I’ve been informed that my Sunday is ruined.  Ruined because my dad has an awards-type dinner for his Real Estate Firm, and we all must attend.  But mostly ruined because ninety percent of the agents are Indian, and this dinner will be held at a banquet hall.  A familiar scene, and a familiar kind of matchmaking air…*sigh*.

So I’m off for a “double work-out”, to pre-empt the evening’s gluttony.

(more on the “cyber guy” next time…)

pinkheart-copynew1

23 comments

  1. Interesting, an ocean apart eh? That could make things difficult. Unless that was just a metaphor for cyberspace or something.


  2. People meet under all sorts of circumstances…I wouldn’t be the one to, and it seems that you aren’t, discount this one simply because it is out of the “ordinary”.


  3. Oh you are such a tease! But the end of the year is coming! ;) I know lots of people who have met through the internet and went on to have successful relationships/marriages.


  4. Holy Hell Romi!
    How can you leave me hanging like that?


  5. I thought I left a comment here earlier but maybe I am going insane. Anyway…you may or may not know the story of Ute and Justin. We met here in the U.S. and she is German. We were together for a year and then she had to go back home. We spent one year apart (aside from 1 week visits every few months). She finally came back to the U.S. and now we are married and living together and blah blah blah. Sure, we have our fights about staying here or going to Germany. Ultimately, what I am saying is that sometimes shit works out Romi. I hope it does for you too!


  6. My daughter met her sweetie on Match.com. They have been together for a year now. So, it can work.


  7. Romi!

    You are quite the tease! Details, woman, we want details!

    (BTW, I’m still not 100% convinced you aren’t talking about me!)


  8. I wasn’t looking for him and he wasn’t looking for me (in other words I still don’t know if ”Match.com” really works). Instead you could describe it as two solitary rocks, who happened to collide in cyberspace.

    Miss Romi…this is exactly what happened to me. And the girl was also an ocean away.

    We’ve been engaged for a month now. So it CAN work.

    (BTW, she doesn’t know about us and my love for your flannel PJ’s. Our little secret, OK?)


  9. Oh Romi!!! Can’t wait to hear more…


  10. I hope this doesn’t turn out to be a “Tarantino” kind of story where at the end of this year you drop the bomb that you’ve been happily married for the past few months…

    Don’t get me wrong, I’d like you to find your guy…but I, and by assumption your fellow readers, would like to experience the entire process as it happens, well maybe a few hours after the fact. :P


  11. Well obviously I say go for it! Distance ain’t nothing! Except you’d have to take a plane, not a bus, but even I don’t think I’ll be getting back on a Greyhound any time soon if I can swing the air fare. Go Romi, Go!


  12. Ooooh boy. The plot thickens. Regular updates, please!


  13. uuummm this sounds AWESOME…very You’ve Got Mail…and we know how that movie works out (sans the whole book shop closing…which always makes me sad). Don’t keep me hanging I would like some details…also I say persue persue persue you never know what will happen!


  14. Sometimes cyber-romance works. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.


  15. Good luck with the cyberdude. Hope it works out for you.

    BTW the Habitat thing is very cool, and I think it’s terrific you’re volunteering however you can. I once volunteered in a hospital, and I’ll always remember this one demented old guy who couldn’t remember if he’d put sugar in his coffee or not, so he’d keep pouring packets in until his coffee literally became like syrup. Anyways it always amazed me how spending just an hour a week chatting and playing cards with these people really made a difference to them (and to me). So good for you!


  16. I met my wife playing a text-based D&D type game in 1993. We’ve been together since ’96 and celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary in May.

    Not bad for meeting a lady carrying a large hammer in the street outside a local bar. While I was carrying a big bloody axe. And drunk to boot.

    But, you know, in text. Anyways.

    We had to explain it a lot back when we got married, but these days it’s common enough not to solicit comment. Don’t let it bother ya.


  17. Kerplar: haha…I was it was a metaphor, but that ocean distance is real man!

    moretheelectrician: I think most of my experiences so far have been out of the ordinary, so don’t worry that aspect won’t make me turn away! :-)

    teeni: I’m glad to hear about the positive stats, but this is all so early and confusing (and yes it’s almost mid December! ;-) )…we’ll see!

    dontdatethatdude: I don’t like leaving anyone hanging, but I’ll be back soon with some more info ;-)

    Justin: I don’t think you’re going insane, but maybe you want to look into that ;-) Anyway my heart pretty much fluttered as I read the story of yourself and Ute…I love you guys and I haven’t even met you! How is that possible!??! (wow…I have a lot of Internet love to spread don’t I? Hahaha….)…well anyway you guys are an inspiration, right now I’m just lost in “confusion land”, but hopefully things will work out someday :-)

    Karen: Okay then, so you just confirmed the query in my post…Match.com CAN work! Good for your daughter! :-)

    Daddy Dan: hahaha…I’m not 100% convinced it’s not you either ;-) …what kind of details do you want man? It’s hard to find the balance between details and keeping the dude anonymous as I don’t want to exploit the poor fella…haha…

    Nigel: awww…congrats on your engagement, I’m so happy for you! :-)

    PS: don’t worry, the PJ-love can be your own special thing, hahaha ;-)

    CuriousC: thanks, I can’t wait to hear more either, I just wish I knew what the heck was next!! ;-)

    omegaradium:
    I promise you (cross my heart and hope to die), that there is no impending bomb-droppage that I’ve been married…I am the only one who keeps my bed warm at night…TRUST ME…I have not met him, and we have not gotten cyber-married….and you want to “experience it too”? Like what a web-cam? Hahaha…

    Emerald:
    yeah, I can’t exactly swim across the ocean, and I hope you can airfare it to Josh next time too! As for me…gosh…I am likely to screw things up, but I will do my best :-)

    ian in hamburg:
    the updates will be regular but the year is almost over; I’d say I only have four more updates left before I escape for Christmas break..! (not that everything will wrap itself in a neat little package here…hardly ;-) )

    sammy25: aww thanks; I have seen that movie many times, and the bookshop closing makes me sad too! :-( I am definitely a pursuer…so we’ll see how it goes ;-)

    Pure Evyl: aww, thanks for the crossed fingers, I appreciate it :-)

    Red Canuck: thanks for the well wishes :-) As for Habitat, I’m kind of nervous, but I also feel like it will be a big difference to those who get to experience it, and for us; last year some of my friends and I renovated a women’s shelter, and the patrons were there watching us paint it and re-furnish it…and the smiles on their faces….yup, it did a lot for me too! :-)

    PS: it’s so nice that you did that too, every little bit helps! :-)

    Taoist Biker: Wow…what a great story :-) Hahaha….and I love the visual of you two crossing paths ;-) Yeah, it’s a lot less taboo, so I think I’m okay with that part, it’s just the part about actually moving some mountains to turn something cyber into something “3-D” for everyday life…sigh….


  18. He frustrates you in a good way….oooooo, how exciting! Can’t wait to hear more.


  19. If you had told me a few years ago that you could even make a real friend on the internet I would have told you that you were cray-zay! Since blogging I can totally see how you can meet someone special (I have not, but I can see how easily someone could).

    I imagine over the last year of emailing, you have really gotten to know each other. I think this is amazing and wish you only THE BEST! Cannot wait to hear this unfold ;)


  20. I smiled when I read your post here, because it sounds so familiar to me. I am from Germany,too. Got to know my American ex-husband-to-be over the Internet. We weren’t searching for a partner but boomed it happened and I got stranded here in the US. We got married way to fast, because we wanted to get to know each other…and dating with thousands miles between two people would have made it hard. That was four years ago…we got two kids and unfortunately it didn’t work out. Divorce is in progress…but still…it can work out. Don’t get discouraged by my story…


  21. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the conclusion!


  22. [...] Of The Chick « The Truth About “The Guy”… Story of A Cyber Guy… December 11, 2008 Last time I told you a secret…do you [...]


  23. Spread the internet love but not the internet STD’s. Haha. Yeah, we have to meet one day. Don’t worry, we’ll come there. Always wanted to see America’s hat.



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