Why Arranged Marriages ROCK—The Top Ten Quotes That Swayed MeNovember 15, 2007
My name is Romi, and I am of Indian descent (not the “casino” kind, but the “elephants/saris/cab-drivers” kind).
My parents were born in India, but I popped out of mother’s vagina HERE—in beautiful syrupy Canada. This basically means a couple of things:
#1: My parents expect me to be a nice little Indian girl, like the ones from their native tribe
#2: I’ve spent my whole life being influenced by Western culture (sometimes for better, sometimes for worse)
The most important thing I can do in life, is marry some Indian dude, with super-wicked stats (lotsa money, good family, good genes, good values). Once this is done, I can turn into an ethnic baby-making-machine, thus fulfilling my spicy destiny.
Since my parents don’t understand/believe in dating (as they associate it with sluts/white people (…sorry) ), my future will come in the form of an arranged marriage (like this one below).
(look how happy they seem…is that how my future will be?)
Now since I’m already 26, the clock is ticking loudly (side-note: according to “brown years”, my ovulation days will be over by age 28).
All this pressure is making me very nervous. If anything, I’ve always considered myself to be a passionate, free, and open-minded person; so why all these restrictions?
I just don’t get the “arranged marriage” concept, or at least…I didn’t get it.
That’s right people, the winds have finally changed, and it’s all because of THIS. It’s a touching anecdote, where an Indian woman tells me her story, and here it is in a nutshell: she grew up in India, she was “chosen” by some rich-ass Indian/American, she married him on the 3rd meeting, she banged him (awesome), she moved to Manhattan, and she lived happily ever after.
If that’s not enough, she left me with a bunch of inspiring quotes.
So here they are: The Top Ten quotes on why I should get “arranged” (complete with my enthusiastic reactions ).
(once you’ve read them, tell me what you think: Should Romi get an arranged marriage? Should you?)
Why Arranged Marriages ROCK—The Top Ten Quotes That Swayed Me
#10: There was something about his demeanor, his soft, lilting voice, and the pleasing way he interacted with my family — frankly, we all fell for him.
I am ALL about my family falling for my dude. That’s right, “familial orgies”; complete with high tea, soft whispers, and baby oil. Yeahhhh…..
#9: One week later, his mother called my mother, and by the end of the phone call, we were engaged.
You mean…we can get our moms to propose for us? That is SUCH a weight off my shoulders; seriously, I am NOT very good at talking to dudes directly; thanks mom!
#8: Shouts and hugs were exchanged throughout the neighborhood — you’d have thought I’d won an Olympic gold medal.
I’ve always felt a void in my life, saying to myself: “I think I’m happy in my life, but am I making my neighbours happy too? What do they want?” Well now I know how to make their dreams come true; Olympic medals all around!
#7: On my wedding night, a sense of calm finally washed over me, as I made my leap from bride to wife (armed with the Kama Sutra, which my cousins had downloaded onto my PDA as a gift).
I have always been nervous about having “relations”, but if marrying a dude of my parents’ choice means a downloaded copy of the “Kama Sutra”, I say “YES”! A thousand times yes!
#6: I eyed his walk-in closet, courageously moving his suits into a smaller armoire. Judging from what remained, I had married an avid golfer, skier, and board-game player.
I like surprises, and nothing would surprise me more than finding out my husband’s hobbies AFTER we get married. Five points for mystery!
#5: My husband bought me fashionable, sometimes sexy clothes, and we tested each others’ boundaries.
I have never worn sexy clothes before; I’m excited for my husband to buy me some.
#4: It was just like dating, only we were already married.
Why didn’t I realize this before? It’s all the joys of dating, but you never have to go into “why won’t he call me?”-mode, ’cause you’ll already have him “locked-in-for-life”. Sucka!
#3: Slowly, I was getting to know my husband, even starting to fall in love with him.
WHAT!??!?! Does this chick mean to tell me I can “fall in LOVE” with my arranged marriage!?!?!? Do you know what that means for a hopeless romantic like me??? WOW, arranged marriage = “You’ve Got Mail”…I am SOOO friggin’ excited
#2: Although my husband doesn’t always agree with his opinionated and selectively liberated wife, he openly expresses his love
I’ve only ever been interested in being “selectively” liberated (all of you already know this); so if I can be THAT, and still find a man who expresses his love, then colour me ecstatic!
#1: I discovered that having an arranged marriage was a great icebreaker, and my social circle mushroomed each time I retold my story.
Okay, THAT right THERE puts it over the top. Honest to goodness, nothing means more to me than expanding my circle of friends, so if I can attract the masses by telling the world how I “married a stranger”, then sign-me-fucking-up!
Alright then, if you’re reading this Mom and Dad, I’m ready; now get your asses to MarriageExpress.com, and find me a frickin’ prince!!