The “Sexy-Bod” Equation…March 26, 2008
I’m a “numbers chick”, math-errific to the power of 10.
Did you really expect that from a giggling, hair-twirling, horny single gal?
Maybe not, in which case the lesson is loud and clear: don’t judge a book by its sultry velvet cover…
…So yeah, I’ve always liked the math, and even though my days of emasculating oily-faced-boys with my calculus skills are long in the past, math remains an important part of my everyday life.
In recent times, math has been used for selfish dilemmas, namely:
-relationship issues, and self-image quandaries.
I’ll share with you my latest mathematical headache (and it’s a doozy). I haven’t figured out the solution, so feel free to sharpen your pencils and play along:
-Exercising and eating healthier has made me a little bit slimmer, compared to my Nov./Dec. “chub-days” (please place emphasis on “a little bit” slimmer…dammit). At the same time, my boobies are seriously shrinking. This is nothing new, since smaller bodies are synonymous with smaller cans (just ask Lucky’s grandma).
But check it out: my rate of “boob-loss” in recent weeks is far out-pacing the “slim-effect” (uh-oh….). And given that I’m already struggling with psychological “boob-stuff”, I’m very concerned.
Which leaves me to solve a colossal puzzle:
-Find the balance of body-weight and boob-size that will yield the optimal “Romi-Self-Worth”
Here are my chalkboard-brainstorms thus far (I like chalkboards ’cause they make me feel prodigious, like that Matt Damon guy in Good Will Hunting…).
What’s a girl to do?
It’s a tough one to figure out, but “math-head” that I am, I firmly believe that every problem comes pre-equipped with a reasonable solution.
In the meantime, don’t hesitate to shoot me any alternate equations…