Naked Man-Sculptures: More, More, MORE!July 6, 2008
I’m not too sure, but when it comes to “art and anatomy”, all I hear about is women.
I don’t deny the beauty that is smooth and curvy “woman”, but I certainly have my limits (such is the curse of being “hetero”…).
And that brings me to men…manly men.
I happen to believe that men are…beautiful (relatively speaking of course…(don’t get your boxers in a knot fellas, I’m no more superficial than you)).
My love for their bodies was awakened by my good friend Red, who posed the juicy question:
“What’s your favourite body part?”
Much to the surprise of anyone who reads this blog, I didn’t choose the obvious one…instead I went with “forearm”. It’s a hard one to explain, but you can read my comment here to psycho-analyze.
In the end, it’s not even about a limb or chest or “wang”. It’s about the beauty of male anatomy, an admiration that has dwindled over the years…
And how was it anyway, in those supposed “glory days”?
Well there was Michelangelo’s “David”, and later on there was Rodin’s “Thinking Man”…in fact, let’s have a look:
Are you as moved by the beauty as me?
…So as I sit here now in a pool of my own wonderment (is that what that is?), I’m also a bit saddened.
I mean…why don’t they make ’em like they used to?
If you want to see a man as “a work of art” today, look no further than an airbrushed cover of Men’s Health. It’s “easy-access abs” no doubt about it, but how can you compare a digitally-enhanced photo to the labour of love that is clothes-free “Marble Man”?
And part 2 of my sadness: these beautiful sculptures are very far away, Florence and Paris to be exact. Maybe that means I should get off my arse to see them (come on Romi, there’s a whole world out there), but that isn’t going to happen today or tomorrow.
So what about the meantime?
Well that’s where the Canadian government comes in…
Dear Mr. Prime-Minister,
I know that being “green” is the name of the game (i.e. planting a tree for every twenty-five thousand we chop), but I need to inform you of a bigger problem:
-Today’s children are losing their appreciation for Art (*GASP*!)
This crisis is a lot more grave than the loss of breathable air or dewy meadows. In fact, if we focus too heavily on nature (and in turn lose our wonder for man-made creations), the following will happen:
-We’ll be reduced to things like jungle warfare, generalized speech in the form of grunting, and a sharp re-growth in body hair. It’s what scientists refer to as DE-Evolution (if you don’t think it’s a frightening concept, take a good look at Neanderthal Man).
Q: So how do we handle the crisis?
A: We’ll increase the production of beautiful Art, everywhere.
And what sort of Art exactly?
Well that one’s simple: we’ll concentrate on sculptures of naked men. It’s an easy call, since everyone knows that idealized male anatomy is Art at its best (i.e. the muscular creases, the tight (but prominent) bottom, the euphoric feeling of marble balls on your cheek…I could go on).
Once we’ve erected enough of these naked sculptures, we’ll “plant” them everywhere: in parks, in city squares, at nursery schools; artistic beauty for all!
And so Mr. Prime-Minister, this is your solution to the loss of intelligence within your borders (I can’t speak for the rest of the world…perhaps we could form a coalition?).
I don’t require a cash award for my ingenuity, but a naked bronze statue of myself on Parliament Hill would be much appreciated.
And there it is then, the renaissance of “naked man”!
(hmm…how much time do I have before they sculpt a nude Romi in my honour? I better go work on my abs…)