Naked Man-Sculptures: More, More, MORE!

July 6, 2008

Whatever happened to glory of man, in all his rugged nakedness?

I’m not too sure, but when it comes to “art and anatomy”, all I hear about is women.

I don’t deny the beauty that is smooth and curvy “woman”, but I certainly have my limits (such is the curse of being “hetero”…).

And that brings me to men…manly men.

I happen to believe that men are…beautiful (relatively speaking of course…(don’t get your boxers in a knot fellas, I’m no more superficial than you)). 

My love for their bodies was awakened by my good friend Red, who posed the juicy question:

“What’s your favourite body part?”

Much to the surprise of anyone who reads this blog, I didn’t choose the obvious one…instead I went with “forearm”.  It’s a hard one to explain, but you can read my comment here to psycho-analyze.

In the end, it’s not even about a limb or chest or “wang”.  It’s about the beauty of male anatomy, an admiration that has dwindled over the years…

And how was it anyway, in those supposed “glory days”?

Well there was  Michelangelo’s “David”, and later on there was Rodin’s “Thinking Man”…in fact, let’s have a look:












Are you as moved by the beauty as me?


…So as I sit here now in a pool of my own wonderment (is that what that is?), I’m also a bit saddened.

I mean…why don’t they make ’em like they used to?

If you want to see a man as “a work of art” today, look no further than an airbrushed cover of Men’s Health.  It’s “easy-access abs” no doubt about it, but how can you compare a digitally-enhanced photo to the labour of love that is clothes-free “Marble Man”?

And part 2 of my sadness:  these beautiful sculptures are very far away, Florence and Paris to be exact.  Maybe that means I should get off my arse to see them (come on Romi, there’s a whole world out there), but that isn’t going to happen today or tomorrow.

So what about the meantime?

Well that’s where the Canadian government comes in…


Dear Mr. Prime-Minister,

I know that being “green” is the name of the game (i.e. planting a tree for every twenty-five thousand we chop), but I need to inform you of a bigger problem:

-Today’s children are losing their appreciation for Art (*GASP*!)

This crisis is a lot more grave than the loss of breathable air or dewy meadows.  In fact, if we focus too heavily on nature (and in turn lose our wonder for man-made creations), the following will happen:

-We’ll be reduced to things like jungle warfare, generalized speech in the form of grunting, and a sharp re-growth in body hair.  It’s what scientists refer to as DE-Evolution (if you don’t think it’s a frightening concept, take a good look at Neanderthal Man).

Q:  So how do we handle the crisis?

A:  We’ll increase the production of beautiful Art, everywhere.

And what sort of Art exactly?

Well that one’s simple: we’ll concentrate on sculptures of naked men.  It’s an easy call, since everyone knows that idealized male anatomy is Art at its best (i.e. the muscular creases, the tight (but prominent) bottom, the euphoric feeling of marble balls on your cheek…I could go on). 

Once we’ve erected enough of these naked sculptures, we’ll “plant” them everywhere: in parks, in city squares, at nursery schools; artistic beauty for all!

And so Mr. Prime-Minister, this is your solution to the loss of intelligence within your borders (I can’t speak for the rest of the world…perhaps we could form a coalition?).

I don’t require a cash award for my ingenuity, but a naked bronze statue of myself on Parliament Hill would be much appreciated.




And there it is then, the renaissance of “naked man”!

(hmm…how much time do I have before they sculpt a nude Romi in my honour?  I better go work on my abs…)


  1. how much time do I have before they sculpt a nude Romi…

    Ya know…I was going to say something snarky and flirtatious in order to make you blush, but let’s just say that sculpture would be the center of my garden.

  2. The issue is that most guys look more like Ed Asner and less like David Beckham. Running out of good models…

    Is that a weiner?

  3. Was this your way of saying you want some nude pics of me, Romi?

  4. Romi I just don’t quite know what to say here.

    Have you ever noticed the hands on the David statue? The right one especially. Look at it. It’s GIANT! Do you spoze David was a righty? Can’t tell from the pecker since it points straight on.

    Hmm. Guess some more art education is needed here. Please let me know when your statue goes up at Parliament Hall. I hope they make your hands their true size.😀

  5. I think that art should be functional. Like this.


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  7. You may like the Greek flame thrower (sorry, disc thrower:))) statue:


  8. Hey Romes,

    I can appreciate a “nekked” man just fine. I can admire his musculature and ogle over a penis that is so big, I’d nickname it, “Planet Girth”, but even so (and this is the God’s honest truth), huge cock protruding from a bod dutifully sculpted by nature means nothing…NOTHING..unless there’s some gray matter upstairs. In other words, the dude has to be smart AND funny.

    I’d willfully and with forethought gladly select a pudgy, gelatinous tub of goo over a handsome hunk of male meat if said tons of fun had a great personality and made me laugh whereas the thin, fine example of manhood didn’t.

    I do loves me some Rodin’s “The Thinker”. I had a little statuette that I kept on my desk. But I broke it though–trying to move his arms in an attempt to scope out his junk.


  9. I’m just wondering what a woman, in awe of man in all his glorious, um, glory, has against body hair!

    Forearms though huh? Is there a freaky-Web site for that?

  10. I’m a fan of the chin. A nice strong jaw line makes me weak in the knees. There is a quiet strength about it that moves me…..love love love this post!

  11. I’d need a good solid year of advance notice before I’d let anybody sculpt MY naked ass.

    Don’t feel so strange about forearms. My wife has a thing for hands, for some reason. I dunno why.

  12. Having stood in front of all of these sculptures (yes Evyl, including the Manneken Pis), I can only whole-heartedly agree Romi.
    Oh, and the forearm thing – YEEEEAH girl, I’m TOTALLY with you on that one! I sniff my husband’s forearm when he has his arm around on the couch – is that weird? Yes, I suppose it is, but it’s fabulously sexy and it has that awesome, you know, man smell…🙂

  13. Being male, and in pretty good shape, I can say that this is the exception rather than the norm. Sure, as you mentioned the airbrushed pictures on Men’s Health show the ideal, but being a realist, as well as having spent far too much time in a YMCA locker room, I can tell you for fact, that the male anatomy is completely overrated.

  14. I don’t understand why women’s magazines feature so many ads with pictures of naked women. I don’t know if a picture of a naked ad will prompt me to buy a bottle of perfume, but I’m quite certain that a picture of a naked woman won’t.

  15. “the euphoric feeling of marble balls on your cheek”, I don’t think I’ve experienced that yet, but I’m guessing its “romi-tastic” for you😉

  16. If you were to send Harper that letter, you would be my idol, role model and god! I might even venture home and take a trip up to Ottawa to feast my eyes upon your reward! And of course, I would visit every park that those statues were in. I know a few good looking specimens that could pose..

  17. Marble balls on cheek was the funniest statement I have read in a month. Oh my God you are hilarious.

  18. Dude, you’re on the front page of WordPress! I can only aspire to that, and it’ll really only be a dream until I choose to actually tag my posts.
    Anyways, I love a good forearm. It’s good for gripping in scary movies, and there’s something very manly about it. Also a fan of the cut-in under guy’s hips. Gals can only get that when they are bulimic freaks, which is grosstastic.

  19. Two things – Go to Europe. I’ve went twice, and I’m sort of poor. Just do it, find a way. I took a loan out on my 401k …. 2% interest … Your young, check out http://www.contiki.com. Went w/them, saw 15 cities in 14 days … and saw both wonderful art … Florence and Paris has the best art ever! Go!

    And, I’m bragging here, but my hubby is built like those dudes … I’m so lucky, esp. since I’m a fatty these days … but once in awhile a girl from the ghetto gets lucky and finds a nice man w/a hot body … remember I married @ 35.

  20. huh huh, you said erected.

    Hilarious post.

  21. Oh, Hugo. You don’t have to tell the women how the pictures are the exception rather than the norm. Preachin’ to the choir.

    I enjoyed the art, Romi. I feel a bit inspired now.

  22. Hey Romi! It’s been a while since I commented but I’m still around and always reading your blog. You crack me up. I wish you lived in California so you could come see the grunting men I have to work out with at the gym… I pinged you on my blog about it for more information…

    Do you watch The Office? You remind me of Kelly so much sometimes, I hope that’s not offensive because I happen to love Kelly. She cracks me up.

  23. I like this post for a couple reason… first off, you are pumping our male egos (haha). I mean, it’s true.. all we hear these days has to do with the beauty of the women body… so thanks for giving us guys some props!🙂

    Next, I like it because you realize that the guys on the cover of magazines are airbrushed freaks of nature. Don’t get me wrong, six pack abs do exist… just not with perfect skin tone and dimensions!


  24. Romi – I am thinking about creating a nice fucking statue of my erect cock – GIANT fucking sized (maybe nine feet tall or something) to put up in a park here in Boston. I think that people would get a charge out of seeing it there – I am just trying to find a fucking artist able to capture the wonderful essence of my cock. I can’t wait to unveil the fucking thing as a surprise gift to the city.

  25. Nigel: hahaha…maybe the government of canada can make a romi-replica and send it to you😉

    morethanelectrician: weiner? What? Who? Where!?!??!!?

    …I mean…ya, the world is short of David Beckhams, but you see, that’s where the imagination of the sculptor comes into play 😉

    hierophant: wow, you saw right through my post which was nothing more than a way to get you (and every other male on this thread) to send me nude pics. Either you’re very perceptive, or I’m not that subtle😉

    David: my artistic take on “David”—he was definitely a “righty”, or perhaps it was seen as noble to have a bigger right hand, so they over-emphasized it (since left hands have always been viewed as either for evil things or dirty things…hence lefties being shunned in society way back when and even now in certain cultures…but hey I’m a lefty: we rule!🙂 )

    …and in my case, if the hands are sculpted to true size, people are going to think it’s a caricature, hence, my marble hands will have to be widdled down a bit…it’s one of those little white lies that go along with idealized art😉

    Pure Evyl: hahaha, I love that peepee boy! Now that is definitely something to have in the garden🙂

    C. Apana: thanks for stopping by and I will check that out when I get the chance!

    dubaijazz: that’s great thanks, and umm…I like the second point of view better, haha😉

    Laurie: I am totally with you, but please note that I certainly do not want to DATE one of these naked-man-sculptures (damn, that would be weird), but to have them evenly distributed throughout the land for my viewing pleasure, well that would be fabulous😉

    dobeman: if there is a freaky website for forearms I seriously need to to apply to “co-run” it😉

    PS: I got NOTHING against male body hair in normal amounts, but did you see that frickin’ neanderthal and his “hair, hair everywhere” look? Not cool.

    Mommy of Mayhem: jaw-line eh? Hmmm…I sense that a new fetish may be emerging for me🙂

    Taoist Biker: oooh, I am feelin’ what your wife is sayin’, I like a man’s hands too, but a certain kind…like not giant, catcher’s mitt, sausage-finger-hands that could cover a person’s entire back, but oh my gosh, when guys have those manly, sort of long-fingered, and artisan-like hands? Sigh….holy shit, I think I have a hand fetish, but coming from someone who has giant alien hands, maybe that’s okay😉

    Simonne: I love every one of the personal scenarios you toss out there! …and forearm-sniff? Hmm, that’s a new one, but I’m gonna try that next time🙂

  26. Hugo: whether or not the male anatomy in its true workaday form is “overrated” is irrelevant. Those sculptures represent an idealized view of man, you know, a beautiful escape from the everyday reality…maybe it represents 1 in 10,000, but it’s a hell of a sight to see, so we should bring it back in spades🙂 (and speaking of “rare”, the jacked-up Maxim-version or Hollywood-starlet version of “female anatomy” is pretty damn rare as well, so I would say that the female anatomy is pretty much overrated too…)

    PS: glad you’re back😉

    Allison: hahaha, that is such a good point; like I have never been inclined to buy a hot new designer perfume because of the greased-up, practically naked whore in the picture…LMAO😉

    duffboy: it’s a cooling sensation, those marble balls on the cheek, but somehow it’s comforting as well, like a grandmother’s kiss (hmmm…that’s kind of sick actually, but then again it is ME talking😉 )

    lonelycanadiangirl: wow..the idea of Harper reading my letter aloud and passing some naked-man-sculpture bill sends shivers down my spine

    PS: yo, round up those hot male bodies, we’re gonna need as many as we can get

    Billy: funny? What do you mean “funny”? That is not the word I would use to describe the caress of a marble ball on my cheek or yours…wait a minute? Have you never experienced this???? Well then you haven’t lived boy!😉

    Talea: hahahaha…I love how that’s your aspiration to be on the front page and yet you don’t tag…I kind of applaud you for that though…it’s almost more legit or something…and I love what that says about me, hahaha🙂 (and I have now idea how that happens…I guess you get tossed into the rotation for a while and then tossed out..pretty random)

    PS: OMG, “scary-movie” forearm-gripping is how I developed my forearm-love in the first place! 🙂

    thegirlfromtheghetto: something calls me to Europe, like there is definitely a thirst to see all that art, and just to soak up the rich atmosphere. I can’t imagine never going so believe me I will🙂

    PS: I am seriously jealous of your hunk of manly man, but hey, good on the girl from the ghetto to represent!

    Alyson: I LOVE that you noticed how very carefully and consciously and on-purpose I put the word “erected” in there, hahaha😉

    dragonfly: hahaha, I would love to see these grunting men and I’m glad you enjoy it around here🙂

    PS: I will check out that post

    PPS: WHAT!!?!?! Hahaha…I love the Office, and though she’s not on screen that often I LOVE the Kelly character!!! Really, I remind you of her??? Wow, no one has ever said that to me before, and I think I like that, thanks🙂

    Justin: I’m glad that you could see past all my drooling to find that I was really just trying to honour you men-folk😉

    PS: those airbrushed muscle-freaks FREAK ME OUT! Very alien-like all those million abs, hahaha

    nahole: hahaha…this was definitely the post for you …and you know, even though the city of Boston would lose its access to sunlight because of your enormous cock-statue blocking the view, I think they’d really appreciate it😉

  27. Well Rom, I have been a remiss dick for too fucking long. I have been trying to dust off my asshole and get back to work.

  28. There’s no naked male statues in Canada?? Wtf Romi?

  29. I noticed you on the front page too! Also “the euphoria of marble balls on your cheek” makes me think you twice as awesome as ever before.

    As for my favourite part?….I’m a fan of shoulders. Big strong shoulders that can throw me. Yep, I’m that kind of girl. But as for the super beefy muscular so-ripped-my-veins-are-popping? Not so much.

  30. […] pm Tags: chicks, cock, Dick, giant, N.A. Hole Q – Hey asshole, I saw your comment over on the Year of the Chick blog (which makes you seem a little light in your loafers buddy).  You seem pretty keen on your […]


  32. nahole: I’m glad you’re back to your fucking job sniffing out assholes and such (huh? lol..😉 )

    Abarclay: naked-man-statues were out-lawed back in the days of prohibition…just a whole trend of “conservatism”, but what’s life without drunkenness and nakedness? Time to bring it back🙂

    greenie: I knew we would connect on the marble-ball level😉

    PS: “big strong shoulders than can throw me”…LMAO…

    kaylee: good call! a nice set of lips are hard to find in a guy…(I mean “on” a guy..ya…okay then)

  33. Wow, I would totally sculpt you naked, but like fifty feet tall, and Your eyes would shoot out laser shows at night that killed off all people with epilepsy. (for our gene pool, not cause I’m evil, duh) (although I am) And you would have dragon wings, and a couple of guns and a knife in your mouth, and hair that was down to your calves, and blowing in the wind, and you’d be standing on a pile of slain communist raptors. And the statue would fart fire. I’ll go ahead and omit the part about the second statue of you standing behind the first statue of you with a strap on, doing you know, whatever popped into my head, because if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s not go too far.

    As for naked man art, bring it on. The way I figure, the more naked man statues there are laying around, the more horny all women will then be on average. then all those horny women will go out looking for men who resembled chiseled statues, and when they finally figured out that men who look like statues are normally shallow pricks, they would still be in need of love. That’s where I come in with my Buddha belly. I would be all, hey I like to talk about your feelings and shit, and I’m not a chiseled man whore. I’m a soft and cuddly man whore. Gimme some love you desperate, desperate, statue crazed female populace. I win.

  34. Josh: a 50-foot tall me with eyes shooting laser shows and ridding the world of epilepsy peeps and dragon wings and farting fire??? I am very impressed with that description (though you kind of took the description into the gutter there didn’t you? Hahahaha….oh YOU!😉 )

    PS: see? You recognize how this will help your kind…like I didn’t even know I was inadvertently helping the cause of the “every man” (is that an insulting term?), but I guess it seems like this is a win-win all around🙂

  35. […] Year of the Chick « Romance At The Movies… When You Wish For Naked Men… July 16, 2008 It’s been a couple weeks since I revealed my love for naked man-sculptures. […]

  36. Maybe you should consider adding Naked men statues to your petition? Here’s an example:

    I had a lot of girls in Gothemburg telling me how good it was to see this fountain on the way to work every morning, they specially liked the rear view for some reason…

    Great blog by the way ^_^

  37. ups! I meant fountains😛 all that talk about naked men is affecting my brain!

  38. vegabotain: oooh, I love that central and prominently naked theme on that fountain! And ya, adding “fountains” to the mix will help me get my request in it, since every city needs a few fountains to help tourism flourish🙂

    PS: glad you enjoyed your visit🙂

  39. […] always been a fan of the naked man sculptures, that’s where I started off.  It was just the right amount of exposed genitalia to get the […]

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