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Indian Engagement: Post-Game Report

November 23, 2008

samosasMy sister’s official engagement weekend is over, and though I’m relieved, I’ll say that I’m a little bit sickened.  I’m not particularly sickened by anything that took place (i.e. there wasn’t any sexual harrassment as I’d feared), but the amount of oil and sugar and carbs and chicken I consumed over the weekend, well it all adds up to an irritated poop-chute (after all this time of writing a blog, that is not an uncomfortable admission).

So I’ve never been part of any sibling “wedding stuff” before, which means that all throughout I found myself feeling important.  When people weren’t observing the star of the show, they were watching my every move.  Add that to my successful attempt at curling my hair with a “straightening” appliance (big win for a girl who has a rat’s nest for “bed head”), and let’s just say that I was swimming in attention.

If there’s a downside to this (and there is), it’s that Indian people can’t be trusted with the offering of attention.  Their attention towards unmarried (and old) Indian girls is suspicious to say the least; it’s peppered with scheming, dipped in a matchmaker’s sauce, and topped with obsessive garnish.

In yesterday’s events, I was constantly squirming away from the (surprisingly) sturdy grips of wrinkled grannies.  But to no avail.  At one point a granny demanded that my sister pat my head three times like I was a dog.  So she did.  Which means that now I’ll be married a lot quicker, according to the granny. 

I also discovered that the groom’s side of the family consists of a lot of males…unmarried males.  My parents haven’t made the connection yet (they’re still sighing from their “OH MY GOD our daughter is engaged!” orgasm), but my aunts and uncles haven’t missed a beat.  Of course when I say “aunts” and “uncles”, I mean any adult friend of my parents (that’s right, In “Indian” world, no effort is required to earn those titles).  That’s a whole lot of people wondering if I should marry some random brown dude just ’cause he’s single. 

In response to their suggestive opinions, I simply stuffed my face with samosas, though knowing all along that emotional eating won’t fix my life (which is why I threw it up later…Haha, only kidding children.  Don’t eat and purge).  I suppose I could have talked to the dudes, but in standing within earshot of their thoughts on politics, luxury cars and being corporate snobs, I felt that the samosas were more deserving of my thighs (which is where they comfortably rest now).

So what does all this mean?  Well I got dressed up, ate a lot of food, and am now the starring subject of several “Arrange-A-Life” outreach efforts.

Maybe I should’ve gone with the “try to look as ugly as possible” approach (nah…I like staring in the mirror a little too much).

For now I will simply cross my fingers, and hope that I find someone cool on my own.

Year of the Chick: one month left…

PS: Strange that I didn’t mention my sister, since it was in fact her engagement, but we all know who this blog is really about.  I’ll still throw her a bone, as in…she looked really pretty and happy, okay? (*sigh*). 

PPS: I believe I promised a picture.  So here is what I wore, and here is how it looks to curl one’s hair with a straightener.

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28 comments

  1. Wow! You look fabulous in that green dress and I think you should keep the straightener – it does a nice job making curls and keeping your hair all shiny. Very pretty. I guess now you don’t have to worry about finding Mr. Right anymore since your sister patted your head. We should be expecting to hear from you soon on your new man. LOL. I wish it was that easy to find the right guy.


  2. Yow! Smokin’!

    Ah…to be worthy of a place in Romi’s thighs…every man’s dream…


  3. glad to hear that the engagement weekend went relatively well! only one month left? there better be a sequel.


  4. Romi, you look BEAUTIFUL! And you’re so smart and funny, I can’t believe a big fat fight didn’t break out among all the eligible males at this party.


  5. Lookin’ good there, Romi. Beautiful from head to toe (I’m guessing since there were no toes in the pictures). ;) Pictures are always fun. Thanks for sharing your loveliness with us. :)


  6. I agree with the others. You were looking hot, Romi!

    But should we have expected anything else?


  7. sigh


  8. I love samosas. Definitly worth eating in excess. Besides, when you vomit them back up they are just as delicious. You looked very nice, oh if I werent married. *Shit I forgot Ute is gonna read this…hi hun…I uh..can explain…uh…look over there it’s David Hasselhoff!


  9. You looked stylish. Great pic.


  10. schmokin. ;)


  11. So I totally get lost in your eyes in that second picture there… absolutely stunning as usual…*sighs* the poor blind men of Canada have no idea what they are missing…

    Allrighty, massaging your ego aside (mmm massaging, now my mind wanders) I love the title of Arrange-A-Life. Need to steal that and start a company with that name… :)


  12. Cool tattoos though! And wait…forward thinking, driven Indian men were less attractive to your thighs than a Samosa? What the heck do they make Samosa’s out of anyway? Crack?

    Must be some good stuff!

    You looked great, and despite the granny groping, hope you had fun.


  13. You looked beautiful!!!!! At least you had a semi-decent time at the party. I’m glad the sexual harassment was kept at a minimum. One month and I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!!!!


  14. You look gorgeous!!! You absolutely don’t need matchmaker’s sauce, though I am curious if it’s more like ketchup or sweet & sour sauce.


  15. david hasselhoff? am i 13 still? how about ryan gosling instead hubby? ;0 anyway, my hubby can flirt with you any time, i dont think he is indian enough for you. haha. i am glad you had such a bombastic time! i have to say that i would like to set you up, but you might live a little too far away….what can we do about that? anyway, i dont why you are still single. there must be something wrong with men where you live. i can proof it. so dont worry, there is still time (and hope). and you should stare in the mirror you looked beautiful!!


  16. teeni: aww thanks friend :-) And I”m holding out hope on the “head patting” thing…like nothing else has worked so far so you never know ;-)

    Nigel: goodness gracious with your blush-worthy comments! Haha…well I highly doubt that is every man’s dream, but it’s nice to know that I at least don’t cause nightmares…lol ;-)

    Black Coffee and Bourbon: if things don’t work out in the next month, I won’t be able to write anymore…I’ll be too busy eating cakes and weeping into pillows, haha…HA. :-)

    Wendy: thank you, and I assure you there were no fights of any kind, except for the ones on who would get an extra portion of butter chicken…mmm… :-)

    Peter: you’re too kind, thank you…and sharing is caring so I like to contribute from time-to-time ;-)

    Daddy Dan: if I hadn’t figured out what the hell to do with my hair, then yes you could have expected something else rather awful! ;-)

    Greg: wow, I didn’t know my writing made you “sigh”, haha ;-)

    jcow81: I haven’t vomited up samosas yet, but I’m happy to know that it’s at least one food that can make the vomiting experience delicious, haha :-)

    PS: I am not the least bit concerned about the comments you make or the fact that Ute will find them (lol)…you guys both know you’re awesome for each other, and in a short time you’ve both become my inspirational dream-couple! (aww…that was my cheesy moment for the day, haha, but it’s true! :-) ) )

    Pure Evyl: thanks dude; I’ve never really been known to be “cutting edge” on the stylish front, so I’m glad it worked this time ;-)

    belle: damn…thanks, I love the smoke-effect, haha :-)

    glassowater: thank you for your sweet compliments :-) , and if you start a company like that, I do NOT want to be a test-subject!!!!

    dobeman: aww…I’m glad you liked the tatts; they look faded right now so at this point I just look like a dirty girl who doesn’ wash her hands much (did I just call myself a “dirty girl”? HAHAHA… )

    PS: I never smoked crack before, but I’m guessing the effect of samosas is similar :-)

    sammy25: thanks for crossing your fingers, and it’s always a good time when you can avoid sexual harrassment, haha :-)

    Allison: thank you, and I can’t believe who I’m hearing this from (i.e. I LOVED that black and white NYC profile pic of yours!! )….I think matchmaker’s sauce is more like the “sweet and sour” sauce, except more sour than sweet and pretty unpleasant overall, haha ;-)

    Ute: ooooh….I vote for Ryan Gosling too Okay onto important stuff: you want to set me up? Hmm…but yesss, there is this geographic barrier, that is difficult. And I have already failed at long-distance stuff….sigh….okay, okay, I’ll be hopeful though! :-) And listen, right now I do NOT look like any of those pictures, so staring at the mirror would ony disgust me, haha ;-)


  17. I’m sorry for your “irritated poop-chute”, Romi. You looked awesome-hot-tastic, though :)


  18. You looked great! Love the dress. Fun to hear about the grannies and man escapades. Here’s luck to you for the next month…


  19. Ok, so does the blog have a change of name for next year then?!
    You look totally gorgeous! I’ve missed you!


  20. Looooooove the sassy get-up! And here’s my solution: you stuff your face at these events. Like constant, non-stop stuffage of the face. For when you are un-surrounded by gorgeous tanned babes, eat the messiest, greenest stuff you can find. For when a sexier specimen approaches, pick some sort of phallic shaped edible goodie. Can you make samosa rolls?


  21. What a good sister you are Romi! Thanks for this lovely post.

    Thank heaven for your granny’s quick thinking on the sisterly head patting, since the YOTC’s close is breathing down your blouse. Maybe 2009 will be your year. If you’d had those smokin hot photos a little earlier 2008 woulda been the YOTC absolutely!

    Anyway, you have nothing to worry about. Time is really on your side. Keep smiling sister!


  22. You looked fantastic!! :D

    And I’m glad your sister is happy too – it sounds like it was a pretty great party.


  23. As far as the sick tummy feeling – OMG, I am dying today after my work had a chili cook off yesterday. Ugh, never any fun.

    I wonder if December will have you finding the man of your dreams, it would be quite poetic, wouldn’t it?


  24. [...] Hiding From “Arranged” Outcomes… December 3, 2008 I thought that my sister’s engagement party had gone well enough (no sexual harrassment, plenty of samosas had), but little did I know that I [...]


  25. duffboy: my poop chute is smooth sailing by now (lol), thanks for your concern! :-)

    maleesha: thanks for the luck, I think I always need a little of it with the way I screw things up ;-)

    Simonne: awww…I’ve missed you too! And I’m thinking about a whole new site next year…similar to this…but a new site so I can keep this one as an archive (content of new site to be determined based on 2008 outcome…lol ;-) )

    Emerald: HAHAHA…there weren’t any phallic-shaped goodies (!), but I’ll take anything samosa-related any day ;-)

    David: yes, I’m still smiling for now, and ya, these pics might be a little too late….lol ;-)

    ramblelicious: awww thanks :-) and ya my sister is happy, which is good I guess..lol ;-)

    thegirlfromtheghetto: oooh, chilli-cook-off sounds like ALL kinds of bad…hope you feel better soon, and I hope Dec is the lucky month! ;-)


  26. Please check out this documentary on arranged marriage.

    http://www.vancouveriam.com/videos/caa28d371db1

    Support young journalists


  27. [...] look unsexy, so I need to hit up a textile shop (or I could wear the exact same dress from my sister’s engagement, but come on, a “repeat”? I don’t think [...]


  28. Your are looking very beautiful and well dress up.



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