Story of A Cyber Guy…

December 11, 2008

computer-loveLast time I told you a secret…do you remember?

It was all about “the guy” who’s been on my mind, and the fact that he’s a “cyber-guy” (not to be confused with a “cyborg” from the Terminator movies…though I think he would be cooler as a “cyborg”…well I’m sorry but he would be ).

Just to refresh your memory, “cyber guy” is an actual dude, but to me he’s a dude that dwells within the thick and tangled branches of the Internet.

Anyway, back to the story of “You’ve Got Mail” (minus Meg Ryan before she got her lip injections, and minus Tom Hanks before he turned into a freak who slicks his hair back )….

…So I was laughing it up and living it up within the confines of my email inbox.  All the while I was watching a ticking clock, the one with my parents’ faces as the dial (“Are you ready to find a nice Indian boy?”).  And that’s how the year kind of went…up until a month ago.

 That’s when I recognized the “cyber guy” for the man he’d always been.  I was suddenly remembering things he’d done, but through a totally different looking glass…like the time that he messaged me for an entire day while I was stuck in bed with a crooked neck and nothing to do (how sweet)…or the time that he sent me every single song off a great CD (one slow attachment at a time), because he knew that I wanted it (aww…)…or maybe all the times that he’s been the one I’ve known for my entire life (how does he do that?)

And here’s a more current event: we talked on the phone.

The anticipation of waiting to hear his voice was incredible (in that vomiting kind of way).  By the time I heard his opening words, it was confirmed: he has a “sex god” voice.  If you’re wondering what that means, remember that he lives an ocean away…in other words he has a different accent (and did I mention he sounds like a sex god?).  As for the conversation, it certainly wasn’t awkward (phew).  No I would say it was effortless and awesome (I can barely wait to speak to him again)…

…So now that the secret’s out, and now that my heart is running away from my brain, I wonder where to go from here.  One thing’s for sure, I’ve been getting a lot more jealous.  Whether it’s the pictures of him smiling with a babe by his side, or the messages of female adulation from his “friends”, paranoia has become my new best friend.  The best I can do is know that we’re in each others lives for a reason…beyond that, there are no spoken rules.

So here we are, living two different lives on two different parts of the earth…what’s next?….Is it time to meet?

(oh, and did I mention he isn’t Indian?  So yeah, that might be a problem…(unless he dyes his hair and practices a  different accent…))



  1. Time to meet?

    Make him come to you. For safety purposes, better you are playing on your home field.

    Does he know you are a blogging goddess? Exchanged photos?

    (Send him the one with you in flannel PJs)

  2. Time to meet! Don’t you be jealous about anything. If anything, he should be feeling restless for not being with YOU. Rominator🙂 Please, girl! No jealousy- that makes for an unhappy heart- and you deserve to be happy. He’s the lucky one here! GOOD LUCK!

  3. Wow! A sexual cyborg. Is he from Japan? It’s my understanding they are the most advanced country when it comes to sexual cyborgs… not that I’ve been researching that or anything.😐

    You two need to meet up, or STOP IT ALREADY. If you’re not going to meet, what’s the point of torturing yourself? And I like the idea of him coming to you. Seems more right and proper… and safe.😉 Good call Nigel.

    Break a leg sexy.

  4. sooo….what accent is it exactly?

  5. Hi romi,

    To paraphrase Johnny Cash: Keep your eyes wide open all the time.

    Ears too. Good luck!

  6. Okay Romi here’s the deal…

    When I was in middle school my best friend had/s a sister named Katie. Katie didn’t date much but she was an absolutely amazing girl.

    I fell out of touch with my best friend and katie and eventually I got married. My husbands sister brings her best friends to the wedding and who is there but katie!

    (Okay so to clarify my best friends sister was katie and then my sister in laws best friend turned out to be katie)

    Katie met her now husband, Ryan, online. Like you, they were not looking for it, no match websites were involved, they happened to be interested in the same things and stumbled upon each other.

    They e-mailed back and forth for almost a year and a half before they met. Ryan, lived in England and Katie lives in NEW England… that is Massachusetts to clarify. So after a year and a half of emailing and connecting (like you) they decided to meet.

    Sparks flew and they knew that there was a reason they were in each others lives.



    love you!!!!

  7. Alas, poor Romi hath been smitten by Cupid’s arrow!

    Oh, wait, I mean WOO FREAKIN’ HOO! 😀

    I attended a wedding of two people who met where my wife and I did…he was from Virginia and she was from Scotland.

    It can happen.

    Peter Parkour is right – figure out if meeting is in the cards so you can either shift gears or stop torturing yourself!

    And rock on with ya bad self, gal!

  8. I’m giddy with excitment for you!!! I’m so glad you talk with him went well….and p.s. who doesn’t like to have a talk with someone who has a “sex god” voice?😉

    As for the next step…meet him! Just make sure someone knows what is going on…other than the fam…a la they might not be able to handle you meeting and him not being Indian all at the same time…system overload.

    Good Luck I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!!!!

  9. I am a big fan of sites like match.com or jdate… many of my friends met their husbands/wives/fiancee’s on these sites- truly amazing people.

    That’s not to say that there arent some crazy people out there, but you’re a smart girl- you know the warning signs when you see it. If you do meet, meet in a public place and bring a friend.

    As for him not being Indian- it is what it is. I totally get it, since I’m Israeli/Jewish and I was expected to marry someone just like me (even though I did… it didnt mean that I wasnt dating several non-jewish, non israeli men). It’s about being happy- if he is who youre meant to be with, your parents will get over it.

  10. Romrom, jealousy is a slippery slope from which many relationships plummet and never recover. Take a deep breath and proceed normally. He already likes you for you, no need to suddenly change (for better or worse) who you are.

    Also, don’t be fooled by the “sex god” voice just yet. You gotta test drive a car before deciding to buy it.🙂

    As far as a webcam setup for the rest of us to experience…I’m not saying no. Just please don’t turn this into a pay site. On the other hand, it could fund your forthcoming international trip.😛

  11. So what if he is not Indian? Parnets get over shit like that anyway…yes, even Indian ones! Haha. This sounds excellent. He sounds really nice. I think the fact that you guys took it to the next level and used the phone is brilliant. Is that a regression in technology though? Hmmm… Anyway, was it a playful conversation or business? Fuck it…I say meet. Who is taking the trip though?

  12. *Correction, I did mean parents. I don’t know if parnets would get over it! Parents would though.

  13. As long as he does not have a Nigerian accent (what would that sound like anyway?) and he has not asked you to help him transfer his families money out of a war torn country, I say go for it! What have you got to lose? Tick…tick…tick…*DING-ARRANGED MARRIAGE- DING*😀

  14. Great, even women of Indian origin don’t want Indian guys… No wonder so many of us end up becoming monks🙂

    This makes me think I should start a similar blog, and maybe name it “Year of that dick!” That’s gonna impress a lot of ladies.

  15. why do i have a feeling that i know the guy???????

  16. Make sure you don’t let your jealousy get the better of you, because that can push him away.

  17. ooh, im having a similar situation myself…except we met for 20min first before he moved a world away. (i bought his bed from him!)
    We both seem to feel similarly, but…hes at home, and im not… and we both dated/seen other people, although he doesnt know i have…its hard…I want to go home but if hes seeing someone else….
    dilemma…Go with your gut, it sounds like you two are something special together!

  18. I wish you the best but be careful. There is a lot of strangeness on the web besides me.

  19. So where is he? What part of the planet is he on? Will you be meeting up? I echo Evyl’s sentiments though. Please be careful. We’ve become quite attached to our little Romi.

  20. You should meet!😀 (and then post about it so we can see how awesome he is).

    This is very exciting!

    I have no doubt you’ll be careful – so you may as well have fun too!

  21. You’re really serious, aren’t you Romi?

    I hope things work out for you. He’d be a lucky guy!

  22. Good luck on whatever the cyberfuture holds up for the two of you. May your virtual and telephone encounters provide you with “sex god awesomeness”.

  23. If he is British I’m going to wet myself. Nothing trumps an English accent, nothing. You lucky girl. I hope you will be having cyber sex soon, lol!

  24. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I’m jumping up and down with my hands clamped over my mouth. Soooo exciting!!!!!

  25. INCORRECT! thegirlfromtheghetto, the most sexy accent is by far the Irish accent. So for Romi’s sake I hope this gentlemen is an Irishman.

  26. Nigel: haha…yes we have exchanged photos, and yes he knows all about my blog (there I think he’s seen the pajama pic…do you think that was what sealed it?😉 )

    Java: aww, thanks for keeping it in perspective! The jealousy I mentioned was something that’s been coming up a lot less since I first felt it, and even if he is lucky, I am for sure lucky as well🙂

    Peter: He is not from Japan, I will at least narrow it down that much. For sure we need to meet…it’s easy enough in the movies where people just “up and meet”, but in this instance it’s such a “loaded” meeting; everything hinges on it and you just have to think it through, understand what you want that person to mean in your life…and yes then meet. Some things in my head to sort out first, but after that oh ya I wanna break that leg, haha…😉

    GYL: ohh…it’s a good accent, the kind of accent I lovvvveee…. I will leave it at that for now😉

    ian in hamburg: that is fantastic advice; you’ve always been a good “looker-outer”… thanks🙂

    dragonfly: oh wow…that story is amazing! So much of her and her story sounds just like me…it’s almost like looking in a mirror, and it’s so exhilarating to hear that it worked out for those two (especially since the ocean-distance thing is similar, and how they met)….I am truly inspired, and I love you too!🙂

    Taoist Biker: indeed, there’s a chance that cupid’s arrow is lodged in my butt😉 …Virginia and Scotland? Wow, this transatlantic stuff tends to happen more than I thought! I will try to figure things out, and thanks for your encouragement🙂

    sammy25: I can feel your giddyness from over here…thank you!🙂

    And don’t worry, nothing will happen without a key friend or two hiding behind a bush to make sure all goes well😉

    PS: as for my parents, that wouldn’t just be “system overload” for them, that would be like “system will self-destruct in thirty seconds”…lol

    geminigirl64: thanks a lot for your advice and perspective . In this instance I think because of how long we’ve been talking, and because I have talked to a couple of his real-life friends, I know what the deal is. The parental thing is really tough, and it’s too early for me to scare him off with my ideas of forever (lol), but if the time comes, what will matter most is if we’re right for each other, and not whether families are thrilled or not…so thanks for reminding me!🙂

  27. omegaradium: when you mentioned “pay site”, suddenly the idea of exploitation and exhibitionism became a lot more exciting….haha😉

    jcow81: haha, Internet to phone is definitely a regression is technology, but a progression in emotional proximity, that’s for sure😉

    PS: It was not a business-like conversation at all, just non-stop awesomeness, laughs, and observations on the world and each other…amazing🙂

    Black Coffee & Bourbon: yes, the bell of “arranged marriage” tolls for me, hahaha😉

    PS: no he is not Nigerian and I do not need to transfer his money around, so I think we should be covered on the scam front🙂

    axelexic: haha, noooo! It is NOT true that Indian girls do not want Indian guys…I encountered him very randomly and it just so happened to be the case!!

    PS: lol…please send me the link to your “Year of the Dick” blog…I would love to read about that😉

    nieschu: gee…I don’t know…what on earth is giving you the feeling that you know the guy?…😉

    Kerplar: indeed, jealousy is highly unattractive, so I will try to remember that!🙂

    belle: oh my goodness are you serious!?!? You met him via a bed-purchase and that’s how it started?? Sounds like a movie!!🙂 And yes…it can be very hard, but I hope things work out for you, and I will try to keep things in perspective over here…

    Pure Evyl: there is certainly a lot of strangeness on the Net, but I’m hoping that the valid 3rd party votes of confidence I’ve gotten will help manage that risk a bit…

    teeni: yes I’ll be careful, thanks for your caring words, and you sure have a lot of questions don’t you?😉

    ramblecious: thanks …I would love to have some fun at this point…it’s about time!!🙂

    Daddy Dan: I am very serious, and thanks so much…it’s pretty crazy and I don’t know what it all means just yet, but it sure is interesting!🙂

    Duffboy: thanks very much, and I hope to turn the cyber-future into the real future at some point😉

    thegirlfromtheghetto: English accents are pretty amazing and sweet and super-sexy….no further comment😉

    Emerald: aww…thanks Em! You’ve listened to a lot of my vents and excitement too…you’ve been a great friend and thank you! We’ll see what happens…🙂

    Kerplar: I respect your opinion, but I respectfully disagree; English accent is hotter …😉

  28. […] Of The Chick « Story of A Cyber Guy… Pimping Out The Cyber Guy (?) December 15, 2008 There’s been mentions, […]

  29. […] I haven’t figured it out, but 2008 was a milestone year.  A year in which I ran into an awesome guy (on the Internet), got to know him intensely (on the Internet), and whispered sweet nothings in his […]

  30. Romi, I am new here from misanthropy today and late to the party but what the hell, on cyber guy I don’t think your crazy, just remember to bring mace.
    Being the complicated mess I am I don’t really feel emotion in a normal way and I am a misanthrope. Anyways about seven years ago I met this amazing girl from america.
    I never felt that I ever belonged and I thought I was the only one who felt the way I do about things, turns out she is pretty much the same. Wherever you find it understanding is priceless, she really gets me which is why I am leaving this dingey hell hole called britain to move to the USA and hopefully start a new life with her. She gets me and she’s beautiful what more can I ask for.
    A little more about me, life really sucks when your friends don’t really know you and sucks even more so when you have to pretend that you feel things when you don’t. Usually I can take or leave people but she’s different, I care about what she thinks of me and I genuinely care about her, she’s awesome.
    I honestly deeply dislike and don’t trust the majority of people but what I found with her is priceless, I have had past relationships but I can say I was only fond of them I didn’t actually love them and my morals are a grey area but I know that keeping them would just be wrong. With this girl I can say I have love for her and I could see myself being happy with her. I dated and indian/austrian girl a little while back but I think she kinda sensed that something wasn’t right with me(lets just say her parents would not approve)I was honest about myself and how I feel and I think she thought I was a psychopath, maybe I am a little, I don’t really know, well I am sure the replies will give me a better idea. I was very frank with her about her family, I’d tell her that her own happiness and contentment should over-ride the wishes of her family, that might have been why. Anyways I think you should do whatever makes you happy and find love however it suits you.
    If a fucked up, emotionally damaged person like myself can find someone, you can too. You should go for it, after all you’re a pretty girl and you are articulate you should have no trouble.
    Good luck, best wishes.

    • Hey there!

      I remember you from your blog in 2007, and thanks for sharing your story! It just goes to show that no matter how cynical time can make a person, anything truly is possible, and you can’t decide that you’re only going to meet the right person for you within geographic boundaries, because then maybe, unfortunately..you never will.

      I’m glad you’ve found someone that means so much to you!🙂

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