Pimping Out The Cyber Guy (?)

December 15, 2008

silhouette_man_standingThere’s been mentions, there’s been hints, and there’s even been a confession: I like a “cyber guy”!

Through it all I’ve kept the details scarce…which brings me to some reader questions:

-Who is this guy?  Where’s he from?  What does he look like?

With all the identity fraud that floats around in cyberspace, it seems like the time to prove that he’s an actual guy (especially since I’ve been known to exaggerate (i.e replacing human encounters with trolls…but no, that was really a troll)).

Okay then; cue his picture, name, and country of residence:

…oh wait, I’m not going to do that.

I mean yes it was me who started this blog, pouring out the details of a desperate man-hunt (in that “too much information” kind of way).  But the “cyber guy”?  He didn’t sign up for any of this; he didn’t sign up to have his face all over the Internet.

And that’s why I’ll keep his identity safe (unless he decides to emerge on his own).  Whether or not that makes me a fraud, I will leave the decision to you.

Before I “wet blanket’ this post any more, there is a little something I can tell you.  It’s the “special ingredient” in the KFC…it’s the “X-factor” in American Idol…it’s the “magic” in the bra that turns my “mini boobs” into juicy ones.

It’s all the stuff that’s amazing.

So here you are, here is the “cyber guy”…

…He’s working on a really cool dream (even though he’s working 9-5 for a very demanding company).  Sometimes he’ll spend an entire weekend working on his dream.  Sometimes he’ll even skip a shower just to get things done (in the “no shower” times, I am glad that he’s a few thousand miles away (is that bitchy?)).

He’s a super-fantastic runner.  He can marathon it up like nobody’s business.  It has something to do with a slow heart-beat and a giant heart (and no he’s not making it up!)….It’s funny how it works, since I have the heart of an overweight grandpa monkey.  When I run for longer than five or six minutes, I am likely to puke on the side of the road.  So fine, maybe we won’t ever run together (or maybe we will so he can point and laugh).

He is so funny, that he can fire off jokes with the velocity of Superman on “super crack”.  I always need my A-game with him…and I like that.  He also endorses my weirdo-humour, like the kind where I make fun of random things and random people.  He’s actually pretty good at “random” too, so much so that I strongly believe we could sit on a bench and ridicule folks for hours (ahh…one of my favourite things).

He is so serious, that when the world goes wrong, he is always there to ask how it could be improved (and he is very good at living the answers).  It’s the sort of thing that helps me see the world from a wider view, and that’s how people change for the better.  His values are so strong, that he will never back down for the hollow excuse of avoiding confrontation.  I respect that.

He is so cute, that he says we’ll build a fort in front of the TV, so we can watch DVD’s all day…we already have a movie list (I made him put “Bridget Jones’s Diary” on that list…he was none too thrilled).

Oh, and here’s the bonus round:

-He is so…freakin’…hot




  1. sounds like Fabgrandpa. Wait a minute, how old is this guy???

  2. Aw, come on, chuck us a crumb! What country is he from at least?

  3. Hmm. I’m wondering how old he is too. And how can you tell he’s hot if you never met him? Are you basing hotness on photos or strictly on personality here? Boy aren’t I nosy? I need more details. LOL.

  4. I might try to take this guy from you and I don’t even play for that team…does he cook?

  5. Oh crap. Romi is definitely in Deep Smit.

  6. Woah! Looks like there is only one way from here….Of course that is considering your parents somehow magically allow you to “choose by yourself”!!
    You ever given thought to that????
    And also just one important thing you have failed to mention in all the posts on the Cyber Guy:

  7. See, I always thought there was something about marathoners that gave them an edge. An edge which, I might add, I seem to lack.

    Now I know! Those big-hearted MFer’s. That’s akin to cheating. They should have to wear a big scarlet “BFH” (Big Friggin Heart) on their sponsored shirts, so the rest of the world can see that the only reason they’re passing people like myself as if we’re sitting still is because their thumper is XL!

    Thanks for solving that lil’ mystery!

  8. dobeman, having a “big heart” isn’t all its cracked up to be. Sure, the lower BPMs + increased blood flow gives athletes a competitive advantage, but often these advantages are counterbalanced by the high probability of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which at one point or another may completely block blood flow to certain parts of the heart causing instantaneous death in even the most physically fit person. Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is still not fully understood, but its believed to be an inherited trait.

    Romrom, I’m glad you like this guy, but make sure he doesn’t overdo it on the marathon circuit and that he gets checked up every now and then with EKGs or better.

  9. Sounds pretty good. I know you’ll be careful. I hope you’ll be careful. I always say that. Word to the wise: Kaylee

    Does he not like Rene Zellweger or is it chick flicks in general?

    Important Question.🙂

  10. I’m jealous….he sounds awesome! I’m dying to know who he is. But I understand the whole identity issue…but I’m not agains if you just happen to “accidentally” post a picture of the hottie j/k. He sounds great but you do know there will come a day when he will be like “Let’s go on a run together” and I just hope he’s ready for the 5/6 minute puke and rally moment LOL😉

  11. He’s also very lucky!

  12. Woo! Super hot guy with a sense of humour – sounds like the jackpot to me!😀

    Also – good call on Bridget Jones’s Diary. I love that movie.

  13. Oh i feel so privileged. haha. maybe i should sell all the information that i have???😉 just kidding. love ya!

  14. “I have the heart of an overweight grandpa monkey” I think what you have are the best blog lines ever. And kudos on cyber guy.

  15. Oh my god I’m going to throw up. This is what I sound like when I talk about Em isn’t it? Damn it.

    Also, not to talk shit about what’s his face, but I never understood the runner attraction. I for one can vouch that female runners are fairly gross looking, at least at the marathon level. Male runners seem to be about the same to me. All sinewy and skinny and shit. Maybe it’s just cause I like junk in the trunk, but super sporty chicks don’t do it for me. (no ass)

  16. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! *buries face in pillow*
    And yeah, you should hear Josh when it’s just us two😉 Sorry hon, I know you have your manly image to keep up! (He is super manly, just super sweet too.) Anyways, keep us all posted, jes? Jes? Jes😀

  17. I knew he sounded like a great guy. I agree that he is funny and witty and determined. I also agree that it is not up to you to out Mr. Cyber guy. Good luck with all the questions!! =)

  18. Awesomeness, Romi. See, all that waiting paid off.

  19. True test of worthiness, make him watch the sappiest love movie you can think of, that you like. My girlfriend made me watch the Notebook. I survived it, so he should be able to survive a similar test.

  20. Yeah, but can he dance?

  21. Josh & Em are so full of enthusiasm for you! That ROX! I still urge caution and don’t want you to make any sudden moves just because the YOTC is dwindling to a close.

    Yeah, The Notebook! Good one Kerplar! A REAL man should be OK with any chick flick, though anyone can understand not liking Zellweger. Personally, I love her!

  22. mUAH-HA!!! Mini boobs into juicy ones… and you have the heart of an overweight grandpa monkey- gosh, I wish I could write like you….. I’ll just be sitting here waiting for more details…. he sounds perfect for you!

  23. Karen: haha…he’s definitely in my dating range…a slight bit older, but nothing significant, and I’m no young pup either (27)

    GYL: I won’t chuck you the “country” crumb, but he’s in Europe okay? And believe me that’s revealing a lot, because before I said he was “an ocean away”, which could’ve meant either Atlantic or Pacific, so now I’ve narrowed it down

    haha…no, no, he’s not Old Man River or anything, he’s just lived a lot and seen a lot, it’s inspiring And I can tell he’s hot from the many pictures of seen at many angles (does that sound naughty? ‘Cause it’s not meant to be!! )

    morethananelectrician: he is actually quite capable in the kitchen…are you ready to switch teams now?🙂

    Taoist Biker: I dare say that I am…you know…maybe…a little

    Akshay: ahh yes..that lovely parental factor…I have thought about it, but I haven’t dealt with it. Plus let’s not forget that we’ve never met; there are many positive feelings and hopes hanging in the air right now, but there are no promises or futures to be made when we haven’t met…we’ll see.

    PS: yup, he knows all about this blog; to be honest, I don’t know if he’s been reading the last few weeks, but I did give him the heads up that he’d be anonymously mentioned

    dobeman: “They should have to wear a big scarlet “BFH” (Big Friggin Heart) on their sponsored shirts”….oh my gosh, you are so effin’ hilarious!🙂 Regarding the big heart thing, I think that gives them an edge in training, as in they can ramp up to marathon-level with less training, but a small-hearted person can run a marathon just as well I think, they’ll just have to train for a lot longer (I think…I could be wrong…)

    omegaradium: well gee, thanks for scaring the SHIT out of me with that instantaneous death talk!!!! And don’t worry, he doesn’t run marathons now; he runs recreationally, but he CAN train for a marathon in a short amount of time because of his heart stats…hasn’t run one for a long time…

    David: of course I’ll be careful (thanks Blog-Dad!🙂 )….he doesn’t not like Renee, he just thinks that movie is silly, but he’s seen it and I know he will watch it again! He is not opposed to romantic comedies at all, in fact one of our mutual faves is “Love, Actually”, so I’m glad about that🙂

    sammy25: when it comes to the “puke moment”, I’m sure he will use his running skills to get the hell away from me, hahaha….And no, I haven’t slipped up with an accidental “hottie” pic yet

    PS: see anything is possible, even for a freak like me, you’ll find that special someone when you least expect it!

    Greg: awww…thanks, you’re sweet🙂

    ramblecious: yup he’s the jackpot, I just have to find my lottery ticket so I can redeem him!

    PS: I know, one of my fave movies that Bridget Jones’s Diary…I was sad that the second one sucked, so I just watch the first one over and over

    nieschu: what?!?!! What information?!?!? Hahaha…you are like a ticking time bomb aren’t you? I’ll have to distract you by sending you baked treats to keep you quiet…lol

    bluesuit12: aww, glad you like the blog-lines, I simply look deep into my overweight-grandpa-monkey heart, and these are the lines that spew forth

    Josh: HAHAHA…isn’t it revolting??? Awesome🙂

    PS: LOL, I can see how super-thin/buff female runners would be unattractive, but he is not a pro-runner, he’s just good at it when he wants to be; hence so weird skinny nonsense…he is more than enough man…hahaha

    Em: oh my gosh you buried your face in a pillow for me?!?!? You are SO cute, thanks!🙂 And sure I’ll keep you posted, but this blog is just about…just about OVER…almost…but I’ll keep you posted a wee bit more..

    PS: aww, I love how you cutely outed Josh!🙂

    Justin: oh I’m already having fun with all these questions, hahaha…crazy! I can only imagine what he would think if he saw all these comments, haha…luckily I am quite certain he hasn’t had time to read my blog in a while

    mike: aww thanks, it feels so nice, but it’s almost like it’s only the first step of this glorious mountain that I want to climb (does that sound inappropriate? LOL.. )

    Kerplar: OH MY GOSH…I love The Notebook!!! That one gets me teary-eyed..ya for sure I have to force him to watch that…hahaha (and congrats on surviving it yourself! )

    dobeman: of course I can only take his word for it, but apparently he has killer dance moves (I will need to see proof of course )

    David: Don’t worry I won’t be hopping on a plane or anything just because it’s December, haha…things are as confusing as ever, but YES, having cheerleaders like Em and Josh is the best!🙂 And also, I am now friends with TWO people who are friends with him in 3-D life, so I think that is a pretty good “non psycho” vote of confidence!

    Java: isn’t that the cool part? No one has to be perfect, they just have to be “perfect for you”…we’ll see, he is quite wonderful, I just need to meet him!🙂



  25. Em didn’t out me for nothing. I’m never sweet. I’m gristly piss and vinegar twenty four hours a day. I drink hot sauce and spear rabid grizzly bears with my erect penis. I take shots of testosterone and adrenaline to calm me down from my usual mega-manly demeanor. Ghosts get haunted by me. I’m the reason big foot is blurry.

    OMG!!!!! A kitty! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! (frolic frolic)

    So what happens when the year of the chick is over? I can’t believe it’s been a whole year now, almost. Cray-zay! Do you go back normal non-love based blogging or what. I know you aren’t about to up and stop blogging on us. We know where our torches and pitchforks are.

  26. where the crap have I been?

    I’m so gosh darn happy for you!

  27. Yikes…all the excitement and I forgot what I stopped by for. I wanted to Wish you a Happy Holiday. The old man said that I can’t tell people Merry Christmas because they may not celebrate that holiday…and I was like who wouldn’t want a fat guy sneaking in their house to eat cookies and milk and leaving stuff in their old socks? For real…come on.

  28. I made him put “Bridget Jones’s Diary” on that list…he was none too thrilled…

    Don’t blow it Miss Romi. If you add in any movies with the name “Sisterhood” in them, you may drive him away permanently.

    There’s a difference between a chick flick that just drips with estrogen, and a romantic comedy. I’d limit the “chick flicks” to one a week, and counter them with a good gangster movie like Goodfellas or The Godfather.

  29. Frolic frolic?!? Dude, this is why Josh and I were meant to be. That and our belching contests (he does always win, so I guess that’s one up for his manliness count😉 )

  30. Perhaps one day you’ll be telling your grandchildren how your overweight grandpa monkey heart got stolen, refunded and won over by Cyber Grandpa Guy🙂

  31. He’s bullshitting you–or maybe I’m just jealous of him!

  32. Well I sure hope we get to learn more soon! And I can’t wait to see what next year’s theme is…

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