The End of the “Year of the Chick”December 22, 2008
Today we end the chapter called the “Year of the Chick”.
So did the year turn out as I had hoped?
Well, let’s see…
…I gave myself a year to find man. Once I had him hooked, I would vault my way past arranged-marriage pressure…right?
What I’ve realized now is that finding a man is only the beginning, and even though I’ve come that far, I don’t exactly see a prince. What I do see before me is a screen full of bits, bytes, jpegs and smileys.
Mix it all up, and you have yourself a “cyber dream man”. Maybe it wasn’t what Disney had in mind, but holy hell I have fallen fast.
As for the tricky matter of the parents, I won’t mince words: I’m screwed. I guess I saw it coming, ’cause even when you find a man, you can’t tell your folks until he’s ready to buy you for a dozen cows. I’m not really sure if my Internet man has a dozen cows, nor am I sure if he’ll offer them up for a lifetime of Romi “ass”. If that’s not expensive enough, he’ll have to pay a surcharge of a dozen goats (penalty for being a white guy). Meanwhile the “parental-approved” bachelors keep piling up…
…So there’s a lot that hangs in the air, and it always will…until I meet the cyber guy for real (or until I’m drugged and wed to someone else).
And when we do eventually meet, I wonder what he’ll think. I wonder if he’ll run at the very first sign of my bedtime drool (sorry, it’s a problem). Or perhaps he’ll find it odd that I sound like a valley-girl (moreso than I do on the phone), even though I’m wayyyy super-smart.
All these things, all this excitement…all these reasons to projectile vomit.
If there’s one thing I finally know, it’s that the image in my head of a knight in shining armour (like the one who rescues damsels on his big white horse), is at last officially shattered…
…and I couldn’t be happier.
On a final note, 2009 will NOT be the “Year of Cyber-Love”, or anything similar to that. I know I’d have a lot to tell, but I really need to woo him in private now (surely you understand).
As for my blogging ways, I’ll be back in a couple of weeks, but with something a little different.
Until then, this tired chick needs a little “R & R” (but please end the year with a bang on my behalf (and yes that pun was intended)).
PS: To everyone who’s joined me on this horny, idealized, pathetic, and amusing ride…thanks. Thanks for your advice, your opinions, your laughs, and even for your quiet reading. Wow…now I’ve just puked on my laptop from being so cheesy (does anyone have a cloth and some disinfectant?…)